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This is Erika LaBrie! A world archery champion, a former Air Force soldier! And the wife of the Eiffel Tower!
Explore the origins and psychology of fetishes, their history, brain mechanisms, and social implications in this insightful video by Albert.
Key Takeaways
- Fetishes are diverse and rooted in complex brain mechanisms and personal experiences.
- Historical and cultural contexts have shaped the perception of fetishes from sacred to pathological.
- Modern psychology differentiates between harmless fetishes and disorders based on impact on life and consent.
- Open communication and acceptance of sexual preferences contribute to healthier and happier relationships.
- Excessive pornography consumption may negatively affect life satisfaction and sexual relationships.
Summary
- The video introduces Erika LaBrie, who has objectophilia, a romantic attraction to inanimate objects, illustrating the diversity of fetishes.
- It explains the historical context of fetishes, from ancient sacred sexuality to the stigmatization and medicalization of fetishes in modern times.
- The term 'fetish' originally referred to magical objects but evolved to describe atypical sexual interests, often misunderstood as diseases.
- Modern classifications distinguish typical sexual preferences from paraphilias, which include fetishism, sadism, masochism, and pedophilia.
- The video discusses how the brain forms fetishes through efficient pleasure-seeking neural pathways and associations.
- It highlights the social and psychological aspects of fetishes, including the importance of understanding and acceptance for mental well-being.
- Research shows people practicing BDSM often have higher well-being and openness, challenging negative stereotypes.
- The role of dopamine in desire and the importance of emotional closeness in sexual satisfaction are explored.
- The video touches on the impact of pornography on sexual satisfaction and relationships, warning about potential negative effects.
- It concludes with practical advice on communication in relationships and introduces resources for exploring sexual diversity safely.
Chapters
- 00:00Erika LaBrie and Objectophilia
- 00:56Understanding Fetishes and Their Normalcy
- 01:51Historical Context of Sexuality and Fetishes
- 02:59Medicalization and Stigma of Fetishes
- 03:59Classification of Sexual Interests and Paraphilias
- 05:07Brain Mechanisms Behind Fetishes
- 06:02Monetizing Desire and Online Opportunities
- 06:55Dopamine, Desire, and Emotional Closeness
- 07:53Psychological Insights into Sexual Preferences
- 09:01Research on BDSM and Well-being
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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In 2007, she held a wedding ceremony in Paris, changed her last name to Eiffel, and officially declared the tower her partner!
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And before that, she dated the Berlin Wall for 20 years. So what was wrong with her?
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Erika has objectophilia - a sexual and romantic attraction to inanimate objects. Her first love was at nine years old! She fell in love with the fence near her house!
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As a teenager, she entered the longest relationship of her life - with the Berlin Wall! Which she later left for the Eiffel Tower!
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But after a media scandal, they had to keep their distance, so she returned to Berlin, to the memory of her demolished lover...
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She grieved that loss for a long time, calling her love affair with the tower the biggest mistake of her life.
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Heartbreaking story. But don't worry! According to the latest data, she is dating a construction crane!
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And if you call her weird, you're deeply mistaken! Because you and I are exactly the same!
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Today we will talk about the most amazing phenomenon of our brain: fetishes! We'll break down how the brain turns ordinary things into objects of desire!
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Why some people like feet, others latex! And others things that, in some countries, you're not even allowed to think about.
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What are your fetishes really hiding? Why are your deepest insecurities actually your most desired fantasies?
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And why is watching porn your most useful habit? But first, what is a fetish?
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What do you think connects a foot fetishist and a cuckold? That's right! Art! In ancient times, sex was sacred!
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In Pompeii, above the entrance to each room of the brothel, there was a fresco with a position, like an item on a menu!
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And the streets of the city were strewn with stone phalluses, considering them as talismans and symbols of luck, placing them even on ordinary bakeries!
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The Kama Sutra, which describes positions and even strikes in detail, was written in the 4th century and was considered a philosophical code of love!
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And one of the oldest erotic magazines appeared 3,000 years ago in Ancient Egypt - the Turin Erotic Papyrus!
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Twelve scenes in the most ambitious and satirical poses imaginable! Sexuality and fetishes were the foundation of our society and of humanity itself.
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And the word "fetish" itself came from magic! Portuguese colonizers in West Africa called the objects worshipped by local tribes fetishes!
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Amulets, figurines, stones! In other words, things believed to have supernatural power! So a fetish is something that makes you feel what you aren't supposed to feel!
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But in modern times, the word got simplified a little, and they gave it a colorful, concise label!
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They called it a disease. In medieval Europe, sexuality came under the control of the Church, and almost everything started being considered a sin!
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For example, masturbation was punished, and having sex was only allowed on certain days! But in 1886, everything changed when the German psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing published his book on sexuality, the one that cemented the terms we still use today!
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And from that point on, everything that had once been a sin became a disease!
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It was believed that if you got aroused in a non-standard way, then you were a degenerate!
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And that included everything, from arousal to certain clothes to bestiality! So obviously it had to be treated.
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Though in practice, the treatment was chemical castration and torture. And every fetish was considered a disease until 2020, when the WHO decided that masturbating to feet wasn't actually that bad! And released an updated classification of diseases!
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From which fetishism and masochism were removed from the list of disorders! But with one exception.
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There is a certain gradation! Look, there are typical sexual preferences: it's all about regular sex with a partner!
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This concept covers the whole spectrum! Preferences in hair color, figure, race, sizes, positions, and so on.
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And if arousal starts to consistently latch not just onto a partner, but onto an object, a body part, material, or scenario, then that's already atypical sexual interest, which means paraphilia!
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And that, in turn, is divided into a large number of sub-items like fetishism, sadism, masochism, and pedophilia!
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Yes, crimes against children and a passion for heels are in the same category. Because in science, any atypical sexual interest falls under that label.
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So, a fetish is a category, not a general term! And here too, you need to know how to distinguish: if you love things or body parts, that's a fetish!
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If you like humiliation and loss of control, that's masochism! And if you love power and control, that's sadism! And it's normal!
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It only becomes a diagnosis, and therefore a disorder, when it makes you suffer, interferes with or destroys your life, or violates someone else's boundaries!
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There's Quentin Tarantino, a director known for his love of women's feet! And then there's Jerry Brudos! A serial killer known for cutting off his victim's foot so he could dress it in women's shoes.
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One fetish, but completely different manifestations. And according to statistics, or more precisely, a study by Canadian scientists, approximately half of people have at least one paraphilia!
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So, roughly speaking, every second one of you is hiding something right now! Personally, I love such gigantic boobs!
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But how does the brain even form something like that? Our brain always creates the most efficient logical chains!
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Whatever leads to pleasure with the least effort stays with us for life! That's just how the brain works. You can't argue with it!
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And it creates such chains not only in perversion! Social media is in the middle of a huge boom of AI models that many of you can no longer tell apart from real women!
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And people are making colossal amounts of money off other people's lust! Even with a profile that has just a few thousand followers, you can make several thousand dollars a month!
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And isn't that a perfect chain: if lust exists, then you can make money from it?
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For example, ways to bonus hunt for tens of thousands of rubles practically without investment!
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Real guides on how to save up to 80% on delivery services and even make up to 10,000 rubles from them.
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Or ways to earn money from reviews! For example, one of my subscribers used AI to generate reviews for brands and made 14,000 rubles in just a couple of days!
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More than 2,000 real reviews and five years of nonstop work - that's a sign of quality!
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Any of our desires is a stimulus for fulfilling a particular need or for compensating a deficiency!
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Which is why, at the level of the dopamine system, there is no fundamental difference between wanting a glass of water and wanting to join an orgy!
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It's the same thing! Of course, our desires are often just accidents that don't lend themselves to explanation!
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But if we do try to explain them, then fundamentally they can all be divided into two groups - strength and weakness.
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Yes, a person might just have a fetish for school uniforms, but there may also be an element of sadism behind it!
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Because school clothes can be associated with som...
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Just like a foot fetish, because the foot is culturally and visually associated with dominance!
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So our preferences are often a way of convincing ourselves of something - usually of our role.
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But, of course, this is just my far-fetched interpretation! Just a theory, far from science!
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Or maybe not. Psychotherapist Jeffrey Young described a mechanism that explains exactly this paradox. When a child grows up with an unmet basic need - whether for safety, attention, or acceptance - they develop what is called an early maladaptive schema.
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Roughly speaking, a deep belief about themselves: "I'm worthless!" "I'll be abandoned!" "I'm unloved!" and so on.
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And then the brain chooses one of three strategies for how to live with it.
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The first is surrender: the person accepts the schema as truth and builds their life around it.
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He was humiliated and he's looking for partners - who will humiliate him! Not because they enjoy it, but because it's the only script for intimacy they know!
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And if it feels familiar, then it feels safe, that's how the psyche sees it.
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In sex, this turns into masochism and other fantasies of humiliation. And the second is overcompensation, the exact opposite!
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They felt powerless as a child, so in relationships they control every step. They feel defective - so they start to dominate.
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In sex, that shows up as sadism, as a need for absolute control over a partner.
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And the third is the most banal of all - avoidance. The person tries to distance themselves from everything that activates the schema, avoiding relationships and intimacy. Often compensating with pornography.
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So our fetishes are our safe trauma - our way of coping with it in controlled conditions!
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Because it's one thing to be subjected to violence in childhood, and another when it happens under conditions that you set yourself.
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And as for which path the brain will choose, it is a tangle of various factors from heredity to the environment in which we grew up!
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But there is a problem. You had a rough father, and now you're looking for a rough daddy! Sounds logical enough!
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And indeed, for many of our desires, by asking the right question, you can get the answer - "Why?".
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But psychology doesn't explain everything. At the end of the last century, sexologist John Money proposed the concept of love maps.
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The idea was that during development, the brain absorbs visual, tactile, olfactory, and other stimuli, and assembles from them an individual template!
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What attracts us, what partner, what scenario, what feelings. Like a playlist your brain compiles on its own, without your participation!
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Before you even know what sex is, your brain is already recording what will turn you on.
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One of the main factors influencing this is called - classical conditioning! A neutral object accidentally coincides in time with strong arousal, and the brain creates an association - whether that's a first erection or a random moment of excitement.
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The second reason - is the arousal transfer. Our brain is, actually, quite dumb! It can't tell why exactly your heart is pounding right now! From fear, from shame, or from raw desire!?
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For him, it's the same adrenaline! And if at a moment of fear or humiliation there is a sexual stimulus nearby, the brain gets confused!
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Which is why shame starts turning you on even more, pain becomes exciting, and your taboos and insecurities become your favorite category on adult sites.
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The brain loves not only the sex itself, but also the state in which it occurs!
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And if your orgasm coincides several times with some strange trigger, the brain will stop considering it a coincidence! It will perceive it as the shortest path to pleasure.
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In 1966, psychologist Stanley Rachman conducted an experiment. He took a group of heterosexual men and started showing them a photo of women's boots, and right after that - a photo of a naked woman.
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And through many such repetitions, men began to show excitement for boots! Already without the need to show nudity!
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The brain created the link: boots equal pleasure! Exactly the same principle as Pavlov's dog!
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Theoretically, each of you can create your own fetish from scratch! If you masturbate to an Apple for a year, it's quite likely that after a year, you'll start getting aroused by apples!
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So, now you have a new hobby! That's why there's such a huge variety of different preferences in the world! From foot fetishism, which is the most popular fetish in the world! To dendrophilia - a sexual attraction to trees or wooden objects!
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Everything you can imagine and think about, a person can either fear - or be aroused by!
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Recall our previous video about fear. Phobia and fetish - they're relatives! Different, yet very similar in terms of significance.
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So, there's no single formula. For some people, a fetish formed in childhood; for some, as a result of trauma, or out of need, or through a random association; and for others, through a combination of all of the above.
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It's like a giant construction set. Coprophilia, for example, is probably a mix of factors.
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Normally, sexual arousal temporarily suppresses disgust, because evolutionarily that's necessary to reduce aversion to another person's bodily fluids and make sex possible!
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But for some people, disgust itself - the crossing of a taboo - becomes the main source of dopamine.
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And along with that, the desire to be humiliated as much as possible can also play a role, and so on.
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In short, it's a whole pile of small details in one completely random construction set. Single-factor explanations almost never work in sexology.
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But does that mean that having paraphilias is something strange, dangerous, and only something sick and stupid people do?
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I'm afraid to upset you, but it's quite possible that comprofils - are much smarter than us!
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In 2013, Dutch psychologists conducted a study comparing people practicing BDSM with ordinary people! The result was that those who enjoy BDSM scored higher on subjective well-being, conscientiousness, openness to new experiences, and extraversion, and lower on measures of anxiety and neuroticism!
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And Canadian researchers found that masochism was statistically significantly correlated with higher sexual satisfaction! So, people with atypical sexual interests almost always turned out to be generally psychologically healthier than average people!
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It is presumed to be related to intelligence! Openness to new experience is a trait that directly correlates with IQ, because it is associated with the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex - the region responsible for cognitive flexibility and the ability to step outside habitual
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patterns. Roughly speaking, the smarter you are, the more curious you become, and the broader your sexual repertoire!
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And not because smart people are perverts! But because openness to the unconventional is the same trait, manifest in science, in creativity, and in bed!
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So the conclusion here is simple: buy a latex suit, beat your wives, and eat feces!
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Actually, explaining such a connection, if we view fetish not as a perversion, but as a certain need and part of human personality, is quite logical!
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Maybe some particular fetish will strike you as strange or unhealthy, but if it doesn't violate anyone else's boundaries, doesn't ruin people's lives, and is consensual - and if the word "disorder" is not standing next to it - Then in that case, it is one of the best tools a person has for exploring
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themselves and their needs, working through trauma in a safe environment, and building boundaries. People who can calmly talk about their sexual preferences - and know what those preferences are - live more peacefully and more happily, because they know
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themselves instead of living in inner shame and repression. Which is why the phrase "everyone jerks off however they want" is actually pretty philosophical.
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This is especially evident in couples! Research shows that the quality of sexual communication in a couple - that is, how openly and deeply partners discuss their desires - critically correlates with sexual satisfaction.
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And there is a nuance here: it is not enough to communicate well about chores and work.
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If partners don't talk about sex - they are still not satisfied. And this becomes critically important when we look at the statistics on long-term relationships, because the statistics say: sex in them - dies.
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The sharpest drop in sexual frequency happens in the first three years of a relationship, and after that comes a plateau that keeps slowly declining.
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And here there is a gender paradox: over the years, sexual desire declines mostly in women, while male desire stays roughly stable the whole time.
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So over time, partners literally start moving in opposite directions. Because that's how biology works!
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Because dopamine is responsible for our desires! And dopamine is the neurotransmitter of novelty! His task is not to reward you for what you have, but to motivate you to seek what you lack!
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And it works in sex too! Indeed, for all mammals! The male, exhausted after mating with one female, instantly revives at the sight of a new one!
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This is called the Coolidge effect. The same effect can be seen in women too - just not as strongly!
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But much stronger in women is the capacity for habituation! In simple terms, they get used to routine, boredom, and repeated sexual stimuli faster than men do, because the brain is more flexible and adaptive.
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And no, that does not mean women get tired of sex! There is one important thing.
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There are two types of desire! The first: spontaneous, you want it - and you do it.
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The second is responsive: desire appears not before arousal, but in response to it - from kissing, touch, foreplay.
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And over time, women tend to move into the second mode, because in long-term relationships oxytocin starts to take the dominant role.
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And emotional closeness is the gateway to sex! Without this context, dopamine just doesn't kick in!
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And a man is almost always about spontaneous desire! Most of us are just like those monkey memes!
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We want sex first! And then... It doesn't matter anymore! So for a woman, sex often starts with feeling significant.
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And for a man, sex itself is the proof that he is significant. That's exactly what we talked about in the video about love - definitely watch it afterward, it's one of the most important videos on the channel, and
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probably in your life too. At the very least because I'm wearing a wedding dress in it.
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Dialogue matters! It's an irreplaceable foundation. If you don't hear each other, if you don't try to look at the problem not only through the prism of your own desires and your own ego, but also through the prism of your partner, you will inevitably drift in different directions.
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Secondly and equally important, novelty! And this is not about sex. Travel, hobbies, leisure! If you and your partner try something new, the likelihood of sex on that day increases by a third!
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In general, routine is what kills both love and sex! And anything that breaks the routine triggers dopamine, and dopamine transfers to the partner!
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And third: the sexual diversity itself! Couples who openly talk about their desires and preferences, who try new things - they are the ones who end up happier years later than those who don't.
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That's the nature of it! Our brain is set up in such a way that it needs novelty to keep wanting!
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And you don't necessarily have to change or endure violence: it's enough to consciously introduce something new!
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From traveling together, to experiments in bed! Sometimes just bringing in new sensations is enough, especially when there is a wide variety of adult products!
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For example, a liquid vibrator! It's a small syringe with edible gel, which, when applied to intimate areas, enhances their sensitivity in 30 seconds by increasing blood flow and creating a pleasant pulse and tingling effect, making the experience more enjoyable!
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Its formula is as safe as it gets, developed by chemists at Moscow State University, so thanks to that safety it works for all genders and for many different types of sex!
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And because it's edible, during oral play it can also add interesting sensations to the lips and tongue.
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The liquid vibrator works through transdermal technology - meaning inside the skin - and just a tiny drop is enough for the effect, and hundreds of reviews confirm that the effect is real.
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So if you want to bring something new into your romantic life, the link to the LoveShot liquid vibrator will be in the description.
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And a significant player in improving relationships and one's sexuality has been - porn! People have very different attitudes toward it.
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Some believe that it brings nothing but harm, and some even consider watching it to be cheating in a relationship!
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But the research disagrees and, on the contrary, shows that watching porn together in a long-term relationship often leads to better communication, more trust, and greater sexual satisfaction.
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And there's nothing surprising about that! Our sexuality is not just a part of life or relationships!
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It has long stopped being confined to the bedroom. It's the force that moves not just our beds! But our civilization too!
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Every technology in human history has gone through the same cycle! In which the first users were almost always either the military, or - perverts!
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One of the first mass-produced publications after the invention of the printing press were the erotic engravings 'I Modi'!
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The first erotic film was shot one year after the invention of cinema! Online payment systems developed thanks to porn sites! And the streaming screening system, which allows you to watch this video, was one of the first successfully implemented and monetized by porn sites, long before YouTube appeared!
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So every time a new technology appears, our sexuality - and porn - are among the first to colonize the market and prove that money can be made from it... and then the mainstream arrives.
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This is a pattern that has been repeating for five hundred years in a row!
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States keep trying to ban it - and they lose every single time. Because you can block websites! But you can't ban biology.
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With the invention of porn sites, society has drastically changed! In some countries where pornography was legalized, the number of sex-related crimes decreased!
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Its accessibility became one of the reasons why, in our era, we speak more openly and more easily about sexuality.
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Humanity has swung like a pendulum throughout history: from normalization to condemnation - and back again.
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Every saint who considers masturbation a sin has indulged in it. And every politician, who tries to ban porn, has watched it.
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Our desires cannot be defeated - they can only be suppressed: with religion, politics culture.
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But as history shows, that is an unequal war, and a doomed one from the start.
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But there is one thin line here. In the middle of the last century, Niko Tinbergen, a Dutch biologist, conducted an experiment.
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He placed giant plaster dummies in birds' nests instead of their own eggs. Some were the size of volleyballs, or even painted in bright colors.
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And the birds simply abandoned their real offspring in order to incubate a giant chunk of plaster.
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Their brains assumed that if it was bigger and brighter, then it had to be better!
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Tinbergen called it a supernormal stimulus. Our brain, like the brain of these birds, has evolved to seek signals: food, security sex!
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And if you give the brain an artificially inflated, exaggerated version of that signal, the system simply breaks.
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Modern research shows exactly that! The more porn there is in a person's life, the lower their satisfaction with life, sex, and relationships.
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Especially if it is done in secret from the partner or done excessively. And uncontrolled consumption increases indicators of individual sexual aggression.
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But it works the other way around too! People who are completely isolated from anything erotic due to beliefs or religion have a lower level of sexual satisfaction!
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However, researchers consider "a safe amount of porn" to be watching it no more than a couple of times a month! And it's better if it's videos that focus on romance and passion rather than hardcore!
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So the problem with pornography - and with everything tied to our sexuality - is not the phenomenon itself, but its effect on us: how we handle it.
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It can be a great tool for relieving sexual tension, especially when you're not in a relationship!
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It can bring some ideas about diversity in relationships! But it can also amplify our complexes or turn harmless passions into disorders and deviations!
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And let's be honest, many of us use porn as a regular tool to deal with laziness, stress, anxiety, or loneliness.
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This is our cheap digital antidepressant, which leads to serious consequences: a feeling of apathy, loss of motivation and pleasure.
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In the past, to watch porn, you had to do something: find the right tape, magazine, or catch the right channel at night.
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Now there are hundreds of sites on your phone, where algorithms will serve you exactly what you need.
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And those algorithms will happily play on your weaknesses, feeding you increasingly extreme content to drag you even deeper into the trap.
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Generally, the dose is what distinguishes poison from medicine. And if you think you have a porn addiction - and it's getting in your way.
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If it often leaves you drained, unmotivated, apathetic, and in general it's hard for you to control compulsive urges - my AI psychologist bot now has a section with personalized programs.
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Based on your unique issues and personality traits, he will create a fully specialized 30-day program to overcome porn addiction.
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Will offer unique practices and techniques, created specifically for you and your issues, monitoring your progress.
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And if this particular problem isn't relevant to you, there are other programs too. He will help you get rid of bad habits, for example, quit smoking or improve other aspects of your life.
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And besides that, you can simply have a pleasant conversation with it, or sort out your feelings and emotions.
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Maybe you're dealing with personal problems right now that you've wanted to untangle for a long time, but never had the chance.
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It won't replace a real specialist. But in a situation where there is no other option, the bot is always available, and therefore can help in difficult times and will always listen to you.
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And with the bot, it's both anonymous and free. And the link to the bot will be in the description.
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Throughout all of human history, we've been throwing ourselves from one extreme to another, and still we can't come to a conclusion.
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What is a fetish - and what do we do with our sexuality? Is it a perversion, a deviation, a sin?
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But it's simpler. Our desires, from ordinary to sexual, are who we are. The construct of our personality.
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When we try to suppress our nature, to force it into the frame of shame, religion, or censorship, the need doesn't disappear.
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It goes into the shadows, mutates, and starts rotting from the inside. When we hand the exploration of our own sexuality over to algorithms, we get a catastrophe.
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Look at the modern generations! It's a tragedy that most teenagers form their understanding of love and relationships through the plastic world of Instagram and hardcore categories on porn sites!
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They build their understanding of intimacy from a world where intimacy doesn't exist, creating a very dangerous illusion around themselves.
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And then they sincerely cannot understand why real people are different from pixels on a screen.
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Our sexuality should be neither a shameful secret that we hide from ourselves, nor a digital product that we mindlessly feed to algorithms.
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And only we get to decide what to do with it. Whether to lock this colossal energy in the closet of our own insecurities, to flush it down the toilet.
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Or to learn to understand it - making our real lives and our relationships brighter, more conscious, and happier.
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So don't be ashamed of your weirdness. Do not be afraid of your fetishes and don't hide from your complexes, but study them.
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For behind every one of your desires lies the key to understanding - who you really are.
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This was Albert. Subscribe to the channel and my socials through the links in the description.
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Be honest with yourself! All the best.
Topics:fetishparaphiliasexualitybrain psychologyobjectophiliaBDSMdopaminesexual preferencesmental healthpornography effects
