Speaker A
Alhamdulillah. May Allah Ta'ala protect, raise, and elevate the status of our brothers and sisters everywhere around the world and keep them safe. Ameen. My brothers and sisters, tonight inshallah the topic is gossip.
Explores the Islamic perspective on gossip, its harms, when it is forbidden or permissible, and how to repent and avoid it.
Key Takeaways
- Gossip and backbiting are major sins in Islam with serious spiritual consequences.
- Truthful negative speech about someone in their absence is still considered backbiting.
- There are limited circumstances where discussing others is allowed, such as with permission or necessity.
- Repentance and seeking forgiveness are essential after engaging in gossip.
- Preventing gossip in social settings is highly rewarded and protects the community.
Summary
- Defines gossip (ghibah) and backbiting in Islamic terms as speaking negatively about someone in their absence.
- Explains the severity of gossip by comparing it to eating the flesh of a dead brother, based on Quranic verses.
- Discusses when gossip is forbidden and the harms it causes to individuals and the community.
- Clarifies that even if the negative statement is true, it still constitutes backbiting and is sinful.
- Explores exceptions where gossip may be permissible or necessary, including when the person gives explicit permission.
- Addresses the motivations and excuses people give for gossiping and the responsibility of listeners.
- Highlights the importance of repenting and making amends if one has engaged in gossip.
- Mentions authentic hadiths that emphasize the gravity of gossip and the reward for preventing it.
- Discusses related terms like namima (spreading harmful rumors) and buhtan (false accusations).
- Encourages honoring and elevating brothers and sisters in faith rather than degrading them.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
And inshallah we're going to talk and answer the questions what is gossip? How do we know when we are gossiping and backbiting? When is it forbidden?
Speaker A
And inshallah we're going to talk and answer the questions: What is gossip? How do we know when we are gossiping and backbiting? When is it forbidden?
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And in which circumstances and what are the rules surrounding it? Why has Islam emphasized the importance of forbidding gossip?
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When is it allowed? Is there a time where a person, a Muslim, is able to gossip and it's not considered backbiting?
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What motivates a person? What are the excuses that they give? What about the person who listens to the gossip happening in action? How do we repent and fix if we've gossiped about someone?
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And in which circumstances and what are the rules surrounding it? Why has Islam emphasized the importance of forbidding gossip?
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Sometimes it can be a must. So inshallah we're going to look at all those areas and then we're going to look at how to work on stopping ourselves from being gossipers.
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What are the causes of it? What are the harms of it? Why is it so bad?
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And we can take it from the authentic hadith of the prophet sallallah.aii wasallam. Of course, the Quran injur has already mentioned how bad gossiping negatively and backbiting is where Allah says.
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What motivates a person? What are the excuses that they give? What about the person who listens to the gossip happening in action? How do we repent and fix it if we've gossiped about someone?
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Allah says, "Oh no, you were detested definitely by nature." So he says, "Look at backbiting someone as as vile and detested as if eating their flesh after they've died." Subhan Allah. This is what Allah describes in.
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What about gossiping about a non-Muslim? We are going to look at also six ways in which gossip is either a must or allowed.
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So the definition of it is in the authentic Muslim and there are other similar to Bkari and others. The prophet peace be upon him once said to his companions.
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Sometimes it can be a must. So inshallah we're going to look at all those areas and then we're going to look at how to work on stopping ourselves from being gossipers.
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present. Something which they would hate for you to say in their absence. So now we've got three things very important. mentioning something negative about your brother or sister in their absence and number three they dislike you to say
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First of all, we need to understand the definition in the Islamic terms of what gossip and backbiting is exactly.
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and sister in their absence, he says that is even worse. That is called you have accused him and oppressed him above that.
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And we can take it from the authentic hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Of course, the Quran and jur has already mentioned how bad gossiping negatively and backbiting is where Allah says.
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So that's even worse than gossiping negatively about someone or backbiting them when it is true.
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[Music] Do not backbite one another. Would one of you enjoy or fathom eating the flesh of a dead carcass of your brother? Imagine your brother's body is dead and you're eating from it.
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say it to people. Then it is no longer in the level of because they gave you permission. But should you? No. It's a little bit less than the danger of gossip or the sin of gossip and backbiting.
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Allah says, "Oh no, you were detested definitely by nature." So he says, "Look at backbiting someone as vile and detested as if eating their flesh after they've died." SubhanAllah. This is what Allah describes it as.
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you happen to be around a group of friends, let's say, and you're socializing, and one of your group, one of your friends is not there, and normally they're okay with it, and you are used to each other, and you just
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So therefore it must be quite dangerous and detrimental to the community and to all of us.
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causes harm then it's okay but why take that risk just make sure I sometimes have fallen into it myself and I'm sure nearly everyone here has fallen into it where you have a very close friend a close group of friends three or four and it's
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So the definition of it is in the authentic Muslim and there are others similar to Bukhari and others. The Prophet peace be upon him once said to his companions,
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Just make sure that when they come back and you see them, just say, "Look, man, I I said that." And you'll say, "Yeah, look, it's okay." Because I also have seen even in friend groups when things backfire, it goes wrong,
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"Do you know what backbiting is?" The Arabic term is ghibah, which means to talk about someone in their absence. They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He then replied, "It is to say something about your brother or sister when they are not
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just my brother and sister." So, avoid it as much as you can, even when you know they're okay with it. But I'm just illustrating to you the levels of how bad one is compared to the other.
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present, something which they would hate for you to say in their absence." So now we've got three things very important: mentioning something negative about your brother or sister in their absence and number three, they dislike you to say
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Otherwise, apologize to them or just make sure with them. Let's move on inshallah. So brothers and sisters, when you read the texts in the Quran and in the hadiths, when it talks about backbiting and gossiping, it'll use different terminologies because Arabic
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it. One companion said, "Yeah, oh Messenger of Allah, what if what we backbit them with is actually true? It really is in that person." He said, "That is exactly what negative gossip and backbiting is. But if you were to lie about your brother
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backbiting. It's basically the same thing, but the the extra when you hear a hadith say whoever goes around with will not enter paradise. Meaning that when everybody's told to go into paradise, this person will be delayed or maybe even punished.
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or sister in their absence," he says, "that is even worse. That is called you have accused him and oppressed him. Above that,
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consider major but to Allah it is. He said one of them every time he wishes to get out of his house he would walk around with nima and the other person didn't care about his urination. He would splatter everywhere not caring
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and buhtan in the Quran is to say something or accuse someone that is untrue and false.
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knowing that there's urine on him. But the hadith that I want the point that I say is that he said they are being punished for something which you don't consider big in your eyes. One of them is nam. So what is a nam? Namima is when
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So that's even worse than gossiping negatively about someone or backbiting them when it is true.
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around negative, mischievous, troublesome rumors about others and the person does it intentionally. that is even higher than just backbiting a person.
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Okay. What if the person is okay with you mentioning that negative aspect about them in front of people? You are 100% sure and they are all right for you to say it. They told you it's okay if you
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And that is top of the cake. That's that's the topping on the cake. That that includes everything.
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say it to people. Then it is no longer in the level of ghibah because they gave you permission. But should you? No. It's a little bit less than the danger of gossip or the sin of gossip and backbiting.
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them, then it is a highly virtuous act in which the authentic hadith Alban has authenticated it saying that whoever can stop someone in their presence from backbiting someone else, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will save them from a way into hellfire.
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But why should you assist in degrading your brother? Quite the opposite. We are brothers and sisters in faith. So what we should be doing is honoring and elevating our brothers and sisters in their absence even if he or she told you. But if
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people negatively. Not only is it a defense of our brothers and sisters in their absence, it is also assisting and helping your own brother and sister who is in front of you from earning sins and giving away their good
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you happen to be around a group of friends, let's say, and you're socializing, and one of your group, one of your friends is not there, and normally they're okay with it, and you are used to each other, and you just
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And number four, you know, we say In the Quran, the reward of good doing, Allah says, is there any other reward for doing good other than returning the favor in good? So when you are like that, generally speaking, you also
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say, "Oh, you know, so and so, Muhammad, you know, he did this the other day." But you know and are certain and the whole group is certain and Muhammad is certain that they're all okay with it and it's not something that really
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But when you actively listen liking enjoying and you know helping in the situation. So you know I mean if you want to gossip about someone negatively one of the ingredients the important ingredients is to have someone listening to you. If you don't have someone
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causes harm, then it's okay. But why take that risk? Just make sure. I sometimes have fallen into it myself and I'm sure nearly everyone here has fallen into it where you have a very close friend, a close group of friends, three or four, and it's
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But if the person does not stop the person from gossiping and they happen to hear but they don't like to hear the stuff but they didn't say anything either it's not sinful unless you are actively wanting to listen. I'll give you an example two
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normal you mention someone jokingly. But you intend that as a friendly thing, friendly banter, and you know that they're okay with it.
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I'm inviting you to talk more. Now I'm the same. Another example, someone backbites someone to me and I goahillahill.
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Just make sure that when they come back and you see them, just say, "Look, man, I said that." And you'll say, "Yeah, look, it's okay." Because I also have seen even in friend groups when things backfire, it goes wrong.
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There's no god worthy of worship but Allah. What I mean is I'm not really paying attention to the meaning. I'm just saying wow, but I'm just trying to Islamopize it, trying to get rid of my guilt.
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Sometimes your good friend may be in a bad mood. So what is the safest thing to do? Always monitor your tongue and your actions, even if they were friends, even if they were your own brother or sister or family, and don't say, "Oh, they're
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someone is ill and sick so you can go and visit him I'm not there it's nothing wrong but if you mention something that's bad and you say wow feel sorry for him yeah really may Allah make it easy for him man yeah wouldn't like to
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just my brother and sister." So, avoid it as much as you can, even when you know they're okay with it. But I'm just illustrating to you the levels of how bad one is compared to the other.
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you do? If I don't know that my young brother here likes me mentioning this negative thing about him or not, what should I do? Just avoid it. Avoid doubts. Avoid that.
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The highest level of character is to avoid it altogether and just if it's your friend, say it in front of them.
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If you lived a life of constant backbiting all your life and never repented, never did anything about it and on the day of judgment arrived with mountains of good deeds, you got Haj and Salah and you got all these amazing good
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Otherwise, apologize to them or just make sure with them. Let's move on inshallah. So brothers and sisters, when you read the texts in the Quran and in the hadiths, when it talks about backbiting and gossiping, it'll use different terminologies because Arabic
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They take from your good deeds depending on how much the harm was, how much the pain was, how long, how intense. Some people lose all their good deeds until there's nothing left. And some had gone so overboard with this
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has more language. Sometimes it will call it ghibah, which means what we said before: to mention about your brother in their absence something they hate you to say in front of others. Number two, sometimes it says namimah, a little bit worse than gossip or
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What happens? Allah takes from the victims bad deeds and adds them to yours. And that is the meaning of the hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
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backbiting. It's basically the same thing, but the extra. When you hear a hadith say whoever goes around with namimah will not enter paradise, meaning that when everybody's told to go into paradise, this person will be delayed or maybe even punished.
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So let us not lose our good deeds. If you are a person, a victim of gossip about gossiped about and you can't do anything about it. One of the remedies that help us get through it and not let it get to
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And when the Prophet peace be upon him passed by a grave, he put a clover there or some kind, not a clover, a plant, and he said they are not being punished for something that you will
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So you might think, you know, the someone might come and tell you so and so and these people are backbiting you.
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consider major but to Allah it is. He said one of them every time he wishes to get out of his house he would walk around with namimah and the other person didn't care about his urination. He would splatter everywhere not caring
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people may make them talk even more and probably lead to even greater harm. So some people would like to say okay these are the ruthless ones. The ruthless is not the one who goes and fights. I mean they take their right.
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about his hygiene and then he would go and pray with it not caring. We're not talking about people where it's an accident or a very minute amount. We're talking about a person who splashes around, doesn't care, and then prays while
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Alhamdulillah. Today I didn't have to do many good deeds. I just got them for free.
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knowing that there's urine on him. But the hadith that I want the point that I say is that he said they are being punished for something which you don't consider big in your eyes. One of them is namimah. So what is namimah? Namimah is when
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believer is lives this life as if they're in the hereafter. Of course, if the gossiping and backbing is going to hurt you or your dignity or your family or your children or your wealth, a Muslim goes and make sure that
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you backbite, but this time you catch on to anything, rumors, false rumors that you know are false or you don't know if they're right, and you love to spread them around in order to cause chaos. So, it's a malicious type of spreading
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We all know now that there is negative gossip and backbiting. Why is it so haram?
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around negative, mischievous, troublesome rumors about others and the person does it intentionally. That is even higher than just backbiting a person.
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major sins are as major as the other. Like why? Why so bad? Because these are the causes of disunityity.
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So this is a behavior. It's a pattern that a person does. So it's a higher one. And then you have what we said before: buhtan, a person who goes around accusing, falsely accusing people.
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It can cause hatred and enmity between people. The list goes on. each one depending on how severe it is.
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And that is the top of the cake. That's the topping on the cake. That includes everything.
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Having said this brothers and sisters there is halal gossip. So there are two types of gossip in Islam. Negative gossip and positive gossip.
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So my brothers and sisters, is actively listening to negative gossip or backbiting sinful? If you're just merely around a group of people and they happen to be mentioning or backbiting someone in a negative way and you're able to remind them and stop
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it is if you were in their place and someone spoke about you that way would you like it I've had teenagers at school who say to me I don't mind no that's not true they're just saying it there and
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them, then it is a highly virtuous act in which the authentic hadith...
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about someone putting yourself in their place in all the different situations nobody would like it so don't say it about others so however there are halal ways and in fact there are some as I said in the beginning of my lecture
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where you're obliged if you can So let's have a look at them. They are six six halal ways Islam has permitted gossip.
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Number one, when you are wronged or your right has been taken from you. In this case, you are allowed to complain to someone who can do something about it. Mention it to someone who can help you get your right back. In doing
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that, you will need to talk about specific people and what they did. Correct? That normally is gossip negatively because it's in their absence. You're talking to someone else about it and they don't want you to say it. But in this case, this is your
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right. You are the victim. And how can you get your property or your right back without talk, without speaking? Islam did not come to tell you gossip is haram. Even if it's against your rights.
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No. If it is a complaint seeking your right and you are wronged, you are allowed to mention the thing which the other person has wronged you with even in detail. One verse in the Quran in surah 4 number 148 Allahh says
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Allah does not like speaking evil publicly. He doesn't like you to go around speaking evil about others publicly. Unless one has been wronged, Allah is all hearing, all knowing.
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Forgive me, I did this. I'm not trying to say anything wrong, but Allahh sometimes we automatically move like this. So Allah is hearing is not like us. Allah is all hearing and he is all knowing.
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So a person is allowed to talk even publicly about the rights that have been taken from them.
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For example, even to this point, let's say someone you lent them money and they promised to give it back to you and they didn't give it back. You give them time. They start taking their time and then you find out they could have
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given it back to you but they've gone and invested it and they're making profit out of it and you are suffering.
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Maybe you're in need of money yourself and you've reminded and tried but this person continues to oppress you and then you came to the mosque while everybody is here and stood up after salah and say my brothers and sisters so
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and so person lent money from me and I've been after him and he's doesn't give me right and my children like this and I am getting harmed from them and I've done that is not haram that is your
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right because a Muslim is a human and a human can get frustrated and our patience has a limit.
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So Allah gives us a room to breathe and one of the ways to breathe is to vent out the wrong that someone has done to you after you've tried to fix it after you've tried to get your right back. Of
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course the condition of that is that it has to be genuine. It's not that I want to use this time to get back at someone and then I exaggerate. That's haram.
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Everything with imin balance and it has to be fair. So that's the first halal gossip.
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What is the second halal gossip? It's called warning. Warning someone about someone who can cause them harm.
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So let's say you know that someone is going to hang around with someone else or you heard that someone is about to extort someone else's wealth or someone is going to hurt someone else or someone is going to be a witness
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and you know that that witness is lying or is not trustworthy in this case. Mentioning and telling someone else about that person who is going to cause harm is not haram. It's gossip, but it's halal gossip. Why?
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Because you're protecting the rights of others. Of course, again, the condition is it should not be a malicious opportunity for someone to exaggerate and get back at someone. And you must be absolutely sure if you're doubtful you say look
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I've heard like this like the man who came to Musam and said uh the people of Pharaoh right there and he pointed to those people so he knows which people they are conspiring to kill you. Oh Moses run away.
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Even if you need to mention the name of the person you are allowed. Number three, what is the third way of halal gossip?
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When you're seeking advice or fatwa, sometimes you may sit with a scholar or a learned person for a religious matter in which you need to mention the name of someone.
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Are you allowed to do that? Yes. or you're seeking advice from somebody who can advise you. A counselor, a therapist, a family member, a level-headed friend who can give you good advice.
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Anybody you can seek the advice from anybody who can help you with your situation.
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Whether it's a scholar for a fatwa of religion or general life experience or anything like that you may say such and such a person I had this issue with them and they did this what can you advise me
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to do I want to settle it I want good out of it or I want to protect myself or what can you advise me sometimes uh you may go to a scholar an im or an imam or someone of knowledge to
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say you know my cousin so and so or my father or my mother or my brother and sister or my friend so and so or another imam or someone. This thing happened between us and he said this and she said
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that and they did this. Give me a fatwa. Am I allowed to do this or that? Are you allowed to do that? Yes. For example, inheritance.
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Someone died in the family. uh one of the siblings claims that all this money is theirs and that their say the person who passed away had gifted it to them before they died or something and there is suspicion there and you go
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to a sheh or scholar and you have to mention your brother he claimed this or he claimed that this is gossip but it is halal gossip because you're seeking advice and fatwa you have a problem with someone a situation you say how do I
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deal with it and you go to somebody doesn't have to be a scholar but a person who you trust in their advice and you like their advice and they can advise you. The condition is that you don't exaggerate. You don't use it as an
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opportunity to degrade someone. That's not your intention. And number three, you're sincerely and genuinely wanting good advice for a good reason, not for a bad reason.
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Right? So that's number three. Number four, halal gossip is identity. Identity. you're identifying someone. So you know that mentioning negative gossip about someone also includes talking about their features. For example, somebody has a strange eye or a crooked nose or a
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weird weird teeth or a strange limp or a strange voice. Anything about them is negative. We shouldn't be talking about people's features. negative features if they dislike it, of course, but you want to say something good about them or
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you want to remember someone or you want to deal with someone in a good way for a good reason and you could not remember their name and then the person in front of you knows that if you mention the
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feature they might know them. So you say you know the person who normally has a limp in their left leg everybody knows them. Now you're intending to just identify, not to ridicule. In that case, it is halal gossip. Subhan Allah. Some
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people turn it into a business to joke about other people's shortcomings and disabilities. Even if somebody truly is disabled, a person who is mentally disabled or physically disabled, we should not ever talk about their disability unless we need to.
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Number five, halal gossip, marriage proposal or some kind of business partnership. Anything involving contract, a bond, an agreement, a promise between two people.
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Sometimes you need to ask about that person. Someone may come to you saying look my daughter has been approached has been proposed to by so and so and I know that you know the family you know the the brother what can you tell
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me about him even if you ask do you know if they've had struggles with substance abuse normally we don't talk about people's sins that's haram But only in this case where someone else is about to share a life with this
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person or they're going to share their property and their wealth. You want to know if they're trustworthy.
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Then halal, it's halal to mention some negative things about that person which in normal cases it would be haram.
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Does that make sense? The scholars, some scholars said if a person approaches you about a proposal for themselves or for their daughter or for their son or for anyone their anyone in their family and they want to ask you
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about them and it involves them. Some scholars say it is actually an obligation. You have to you have to mention anything serious about them to them. But they said within condition you have to say it with respect. You have to
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try and mention more good than bad about that person unless the person is just a dropkick loser completely gone or and you don't intend like you're not you're not you don't have a malice intention.
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Let's say someone approached you about the marriage to such and such a girl and you had the intention to also probably marry that girl. They just didn't get there in time.
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And the person comes to you and you say, "I'm going to wipe the floor with this guy so that she doesn't take him and I can go and propose to him." Or let's say I want to uh buy a house and then I tell you
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listen that person in the house is a low life. He's a cheat and then you go away then I go and buy the house.
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So in this case this is terrible. This is a major sin. But any other case if it's genuine and honest and you know it's an obligation.
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But if you're not sure, say, "I'm not sure." Number six, and the last one, halal gossip, is when you need to talk about a public sinner, a person who parades their sin and doesn't care.
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But of course, there is a limit to how you talk about that. If talking about that public sinner is unnecessary, don't talk about them. If talking about the public sinner is going to lead to greater harm, don't talk about them. But
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if there is a need to warn people to talk about their action which they are doing in public, then do so. So for example, somebody drinks in public, takes drugs and everybody knows about it. This is a person who if you spoke
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about with an intention to warn people because this is community and public interest then it is allowed. Especially if you know that people who are good are going to mix with them or go with them or get influenced by them or they have
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an appeal to them or attracted to them. It's important for a Muslim to guard and help other people and other Muslims from falling into the trap of this person.
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Now, you might be at work. And at work, there are some employees who smoke cigarettes, but they don't smoke cigarettes in front of other people. They try to move away and smoke it, let's say, at in their break behind the wall somewhere. And
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then you saw them. Is that counted as public sinner? Because we know that smoking cigarettes actually haram. It's a minor sin, but it's a sin. Should you talk about that person? No.
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A person goes around the corner and you see a boy and a girl, for example, were not lawful for each other. They hugged and kissed. Islamically, this is forbidden, of course. Should you go and publicize them? Is this a public sinner?
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No. They're trying to hide it. You can go and advise them. Of course, if there is going to be harm to someone else, then you advise them.
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And if they don't listen, then you go you can inform the victim, the person who is involved and will be harmed.
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So anyway, each case by case sometimes it's very difficult to tell you whether you should say something or not. Before doing anything, brothers and sisters, always seek advice from someone learned of what you should do so that we don't
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turn a smaller a problem that can that can be resolved into a bigger problem that cannot be resolved. And this is a very important rule in Dean that it is forbidden to change a bad thing.
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If changing it is going to lead to something worse, you leave it. So these are the six ways. If you are wronged for complaint, warning, advice and fatwa, identification, marriage proposal and business partnership, public sinner.
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What are some of the causes? Why do people want to gossip and backbite negatively? Number one, jealousy and envy. Number two, hate. They might hate them, so they want to get an opportunity to to express that hate. Number three,
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competition. They're competing with them. So they think it's an opportunity for me to degrade them so I can rise.
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Number four, anger. You're angry with the person that they haven't taken anything from you. You're just angry at them. So you want to gossip says, "Ah, I'm angry. That's why." No, not an excuse. Number five, it's a benefit to
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you have a benefit out of it. This is a opportunity of extortion. So a person backbites. Number six, your social group. So some one of the co one of the main causes actually and one of the biggest causes of gossip and backbiting
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negatively is when we sit around social groups who enjoy gossiping and backbiting. Number seven, boredom. You're bored.
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What are false justifications? These are some of the justifications people use to backbite and gossip negatively. Number one, sometimes you might say, "I didn't say their name." Can you gossip without saying a person's name? No. I say, "Well, I didn't I didn't mention their
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name, but hold on a minute." If the people you're talking to have a hint or know who you're talking about, not mentioning their name is the same thing.
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And one of the ways of actually in a sly way referring to someone is not even speaking with your mouth but just moving your facial expressions or your hand movements.
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This is forbidden in the Quran in woe to every What's the difference? They're both the same, but one is the one who uses his his his voice, his ex his his mouth or her mouth to refer to someone indirectly
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and luma is when you use body or facial expressions to refer to someone. So, for example, a person walks into the room and one person makes an animal sound.
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Everybody knows who you're referring to. That's hum that's hum. Sometimes I might make an expression like this. Hey, look, we know who we're talking about, right? We're not going to mention a name cuz we don't want to gossip. You know, you know, so and so,
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you know, you know, and you roll your eyes, that's both hum and lumaza. Someone walks in and when we go facial expressions, someone mentions someone to me and I go, "Oh, don't mention. They're like this.
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I'm like that." This is gossip. This is bading. So, be very careful of that. Number two, some people say, "I'm just venting.
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I'm getting it off my chest." If you are not wronged, all right? If it's not your right, someone hasn't taken something from you and you just want to get it off your chest because you just get annoyed or
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irritated by that person, then that is gossip. That's negative gossip. That's backbiting. Number three, getting back at them. They gossiped about me. I'm going to gossip about them. Some people might think that's fair. No, it's not. Because look,
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brothers and sisters, when I take news to someone else, why is it not fair?
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Because now I'm expanding the fitna out. I'm causing others to also gossip. But if I go back to that person and I say, "You're a dog for calling me a dog." That's okay. That's not it's not okay. I mean, you shouldn't do that. But
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is it a sin? No, because they called you a dog. That's all right. But to go around gossip is not an excuse.
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Number four, some people say to justify gossip, "I'd say it to his face, bro.
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I'd say it to his face." Don't we hear that a lot? We think it's okay. That's the Shayan speaking. He's going, "It's to his face. Don't worry." Yeah.
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And then suddenly I got my guilt off. Listen, I'm going to tell you about that person, but I swear. Look, I' I'd say it to their face. So don't worry. Just because you can say it to their face,
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does that mean you can go backbite them? Go say it to their face. Why are you saying it to them? Because what happens is that you're also encouraging others to continue gossip. The thing is when I see you doing something, I want to do it
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too. When everybody does it sometimes, then it's normalized. That's the idea. Number five, some people justify by saying they're just a kid.
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Who ever said that backbiting a little child is halal? If I talk about a dirty, ugly uh um behavior of a child, say that they're eating and sloppy and everywhere and I say, "Look how dirty that child is." Who am I actually
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talking about? Their parents. Do you see how it now it goes on? And that is why parents who don't like it when they hear someone talking about their dirty child, they get very offended. Why? Because you're attacking them. Do you see how
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it's actually worse than what we thought? Number six, don't worry. They'll be all right with it. I know them.
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Remember we said before, you're not sure if they're all right with it. Even if you know them, I is my brother. Don't worry, it's my just my brother. And then we feel that we can talk about them. No,
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actually it's haram. So, and another one which is common amongst and I want to comment on that.
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Don't worry, he's a kafir. He's a disbeliever. He's a non-Muslim. We can they just they think we can gossip and backbite negatively about non-Muslims cuz they're non-Muslims.
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Actually no. The non-Muslims you can gossip about negatively are the ones who are who who are at war with the Muslims and are at hostility with the Muslims and Islam.
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not your common everyday non-Muslim you live amongst who is not causing you harm, who is not out there to destroy your religion and destroy you as Muslims.
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They're your colleagues at work. They're your neighbors. They're your sometimes family members. Sometimes they're friends at school, you know, colleagues.
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Sometimes you're married to them. So backbiting non-Muslims who are in peace and security with you like everyone else is forbidden because again we would be spreading community chaos.
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The prophet sallallah.aii wasallam said, "Beware whoever oppresses a or diminishes his right or burdens him beyond his capacity or takes anything from him without his willing consent, then I shall be his adversary on the day of resurrection." Who is a muah he is a non he or she is a
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non-Muslim who has a contract or treaty or understanding or agreement or social construct of social uh um what's the word for you got to study psych so sociology to know these things anyway who is publicly known that you live together in peace and
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tranquility they have rights you have rights so here in Australia for example normally a person will say muah is a non-Muslim living in a Muslim country.
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That's one. But also here you have an agreement with the country you're living in. Whether you have a visa, whether you're a student, whether you're a resident, whether you're a citizen, whether you were born here, whether you were naturalized, whether you were by
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descent, all of us here have an agreement by being citizens and residents or or visa holders of this country with everyone else. Their rights are protected. Your rights are protected. And there is a law that protect people's rights. Nobody harm
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anyone. Your religion and your dean is protected. Your mosque is protected. Nobody is allowed to attack it. For this reason, we are not allowed to backbite them. We are in a we are in a mutual contract with everybody else.
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Even if you didn't sign anything. So brothers and sisters, this is a very important point that a lot of people don't know very well and they just take bits and pieces of knowledge without without jurisper and understanding and
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learning. So never speak something without knowledge and never oppose without without knowledge and not just Google knowledge or chat GPT. You need to really go further into it. My final remarks my brothers and sisters is this.
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Oh, oh, about the about the non-Muslim. Some people might say, "Hold on a minute. That hadith that you mentioned, you say the prophet peace be upon him said it is to mention about your brother." And they might say, "There you go means
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Muslim." What the scholars said about that hadith is that when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam spoke it, this is called there's a name for it in Arabic and in English. What it basically means is when he it's language when he speaks to the
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majority. So the people around him, the majority are Muslims. was the ones who were speaking to those who said brother or sister as an extension the other hadith then covers all non-Muslims as well in the community how to repent from gossiping
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negatively and backbiting five ways number one if you have caused harm or loss to the person whom you backbit bit and you know it then you must go and fix that loss and compensate them for their harm in their dignity
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their property, their so their dignity and family, their property, uh their their mind. Let's say they got harmed with drugs or or some kind of something that went into their mind. Number four, uh you've got to make it up for them for
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for um their their dean. Let's say you compromise their dean, their religion. And number five, uh subhan Allah, their body. So you cause them physical harm. In any of these five, you have to fix it and compensate them for it or get
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their forgiveness. The second way to repent from backbiting is if there was no harm done to the other person, it's just words and just talk. Even if it's ugly and people talk about him, you must first try to see if
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you can go and ask them to forgive you. But if you know that if going to ask them to forgive you is going to cause a bigger problem then don't instead say ask Allah to forgive you sincerely and go back to the group or the person
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you backbit bit that person to and say to them look please keep this between us. I take my word back. I shouldn't have said it. And say something good about them.
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Number three, if you can't do any of that, make dua for them. Make dua for them. Number five, if you cannot remember who you backbit, I think that applies to everyone, all of us here.
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Many people we might have backbitten, negatively gossiped about, and we've forgotten who they were. Then what we can do is we constantly make dua and say oh Allah reward and elevate every person who I have wronged and have back bitten
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any time who I don't know about whether he is here or she is here or away or passed away or dead and when you give sometimes put a dollar in and say and this is on behalf of anyone who I have
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wronged or backbitten or gossiped about. These are the five ways inshallah you cover yourself. My last and absolute last way is how do I stop myself from gossip? So gossip can become a behavior a behavioral problem and when you do it
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over and over again guess what it becomes a behavioral problem. So number one read how bad it is to gossip and how bad it is of a sin and how Allah gets angry with the person when you read
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about it like coming to this talk now and reading about it can make you more conscious and aware and fearful of doing it. So fear can help a person be more conscious. Number two, make a decision to not do it. Tell yourself, say, "I've
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made a decision that I'm going to work on it." Just making that conscious decision is powerful. Number three, always try to try to get into the habit, mental habit of putting yourself in the shoes of others who you're wrong. Like
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if I was in their place, how would I feel? Because a lot of us truly do forget about how we would feel because it's not us. We feel more comfortable because it's not me. When it's the bad reputation of someone else or whatever,
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we feel okay because it's not me. It's them. So, how about we reverse and say, "What if it was me?" No. If I don't want it for myself, I'm not going to do it for others. Number four, reflect on your
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day. some people and this is a sunnah that is forgotten and it is or reflecting upon yourself and looking at yourself and say I shouldn't have done that we're not talking about overthinkers we're talking about real situations say
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did I hurt anyone did I back but oh I did that subhan allah I'm going to make a dua for them or if I can go back tomorrow I'm going to tell them this or that number five fill your time instead
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of boredom the more time you have the more you're going to gossip. Number six, make an effort to make it up. Meaning, make it up to them. Uh, number seven, avoid social gatherings who like to gossip, whether it's online,
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on social media, because social media is the biggest place now of gossip. And it's worse on social media because once you type it, guess what?
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It's there for a very long time unless you delete it. And if somebody has screenshot, it's gone to someone else.
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It it never stops. Some people have so much of an ego that once they type something, their ego and their and their pride and their arrogance will not let them delete it.
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Why? Okay, give your good deeds away. Take their sins. As we say in Arabic, enjoy lovely taste.
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Some people it tickles their fancy. They thrive off it. Okay. die in your rage and your lovely taste.
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Number seven or number eight, include in your company righteous people. Like try to walk around with people who are righteous. You know righteous people, what is their habit? A righteous person, a good person who fears Allah, you know
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what they do? They have a habit of reminding you. They won't just let you off, but they do it with care. I tell you, don't say that, brother. It's because I fear for you. But do it with these people will remind you and stop
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you. And lastly, focus on your own shortcomings. Like remember that you've got shortcomings yourself. And remember that if you start talking about other people's shortcomings, you're going to invite others to really beastily come to you and talk to
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you like like vult about you like vultures. You're going to cop yourself. So people talk about your shortcomings.
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And usually if you hear someone gossiping about someone else and they call you their friend, guess what?
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Studies have shown and in our experience that most of the time, most of the time a person who gossips to you frequently about someone else, they are also gossiping about you.
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And if they're not yet gossiping about you negatively, as soon as one thing goes wrong between you and them, you're finished. They're going to go and wipe the floor with you.
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So be careful of how much information you give. Be careful about what kind of friends you have and put yourself in that position. And you look after your own character for our good deeds and our life is more important and our hereafter
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is more important. I ask Allahhana wa ta'ala to protect us from sin and to forgive our sins and to make us among the righteous. Oh Allah pardon us and unite this um in goodness. Oh Allah give goodness to all our brothers and sisters
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and forgive all those whom we have hurt or accused or slandered or backbitten. And I ask Allah subhana wa ta'ala to accept our good deeds and to protect our brothers and sisters once again in Gaza and everywhere else around the world.
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Muhammad. Alhamdulillah.
Topics:gossipbackbitingIslamic teachingsghibahnamimabuhtanrepentancehadithQuranBelal Assaad
