Speaker A
Sir, focus on the road!
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Speaker B
I'm making sure that's the right guy, okay? Calm down, Mox. I am a fantastic driver.
Speaker B
I'm driving a car. Hold on, I want to hit him.
Speaker B
No, no, almost had him.
Speaker A
Trunks in a blanket. Just hold the wheel, I'll shoot.
Speaker A
Nice and steady.
Speaker A
Perfect!
Speaker A
Look out!
Speaker B
Fuck the shit back into my stomach!
Speaker A
Well, I guess that all worked out then.
Speaker A
Job well done. We can go home now.
Speaker B
That fucker cut me off!
Speaker A
Now, sir, with all due respect, the mission was...
Speaker B
That fucker cut me off!
Speaker A
Sir, think about this for a second. Yes, this guy is a huge, gaping asshole, but killing him is a huge risk.
Speaker B
I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just gonna fucking yell at him or something. I haven't figured it out yet.
Speaker A
Also a bad idea, sir. But fine, if you must, just catch up with him and get it over with.
Speaker B
Fucking thing I'm trying to do, Mox.
Speaker A
Gosh, yeah, he's really high-tailing it. What do you think he's in such a hurry for?
Speaker B
I don't know, probably to go blow his fucking son.
Speaker A
What if it's a genuine emergency? What if he just found out a family member is in the hospital? Or what if he's late for a wedding and he's the best man? Or...
Speaker B
Oh, look, look, look, look, look!
Speaker B
Right there, that's the same fucking spot I almost hit him. See, it's not my driving, it's the fucking thing he does.
Speaker A
I never said it was your driving. I'm just saying hypothetically...
Speaker A
Oh, yeah, keep defending this.
Speaker B
I have not reacted yet!
Speaker B
Roll your window down! Roll your window down! Face me!
Speaker B
Oh, what the fuck!
Speaker A
Okay, he is a really bad driver.
Speaker B
He is the worst driver!
Speaker A
But are there not worse people out there than bad drivers?
Speaker B
You can tell a lot about a person by how they drive, Mox. Watch!
Speaker B
Look, see that? He's tailgating me now. He could have just as easily went right the fuck around. The whole road is open, but nope, right by my ass.
Speaker B
I knew he'd do this. I knew it! I fucking knew this little prick!
Speaker B
Why the fuck do you drive like that, hmm? You see, Mox, look, I didn't kill him. He's too much of a prick to die.
Speaker C
I have to get there.
Speaker A
Get where?
Speaker C
My son. Today's his 18th birthday.
Speaker A
All right, you see, sir? This poor man just wanted to be there for an important milestone in his son's life.
Speaker C
I need to be the first one there to blow him.
Speaker A
You see, sir, I...
Speaker A
Excuse me?
Speaker B
Now, what you need to do is learn how to drive right, dick.
Speaker A
That's it!
Speaker B
Well, you didn't want me to kill him, so I'm not gonna fucking kill him. I hope you have a newfound respect for me or something.
Speaker A
But he's going to blow his son!
Speaker B
Uh, yeah, I told you that when he first cut me off. Now get in the car.
Speaker A
You know, he never signaled. Not once, the whole time.
Speaker B
The whole time!
Speaker A
And what the fuck was with that U-turn?
Speaker B
What a prick!
Speaker A
Right?
Speaker B
Drivers, am I right?
Speaker A
I'll tell you what, he can U-turn right back up my ass.
Speaker B
Yeah, how about a hand signal? No, not that hand signal, sir. This one.
Speaker B
You know, it's never the drivers like him that get T-boned. I mean, we're from hell and this guy sucks.
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