Speaker A
I want you to leave your home this morning like you just got fucked, like you just had the best shag of your life.
Florence Given teaches how to flirt with life by embracing crush energy and self-love to create magnetic, joyful mornings.
Key Takeaways
- Flirt with life by adopting a playful, confident mindset to attract positivity.
- Crush energy can be self-generated through creativity and self-love, not dependent on others.
- Life reciprocates the attention and love you give it, so be proactive in engaging with it.
- Small daily rituals and noticing beauty around you enhance your connection to life.
- Choosing yourself and your own joy is foundational to living a magnetic, fulfilling life.
Summary
- Start your day with a confident, joyful attitude as if you just had an amazing experience.
- Flirt with life by noticing small moments and engaging with the world around you.
- Crush energy, often linked to romantic excitement, can be generated from creative projects or self-love.
- You don't need another person to create this energy; it comes from within and your relationship with life.
- Life is described as a reciprocal lover that responds when you give it attention and love first.
- Small acts like smiling, complimenting others, and appreciating nature help build connection and joy.
- Having something to look forward to daily, like a walk or creative task, fuels excitement and purpose.
- Choosing yourself and becoming the love you seek is key to sustaining this positive energy.
- Flirting with life means embracing uncertainty and potential, viewing each day as a fresh opportunity.
- The practice helps combat feelings of boredom or depression by reigniting curiosity and delight.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
I want you to leave with a sparkle in your eye and a cheeky little smack and a little skip in your fucking step.
Speaker A
I want you to flirt with life, with being alive so much to the point where someone's gonna think you just got lucky.
Speaker A
That is the cheat code to having the most magnetic fucking morning.
Speaker A
When I am on my morning walks, this sort of happened by accident, I realized that most people looking at me probably think I just had like a really long night of fantastic sex.
Speaker A
I sort of walk around the world at times like I have this little secret, you know, like I'm just smirking, I'm smiling at the trees, I'm pausing to look at the birds, I'm walking with a little skip in my step, you know, I'm making a little smile at the barista, I'm listening to good music.
Speaker A
I always look like I just came back from a fun date, you know.
Speaker A
So, you know when you wake up in the morning and everything feels a bit flat, maybe you don't have a crush, and it's just boring, right, or you don't have a creative project, yeah?
Speaker A
That's where I get my like what I like to call crush energy from in life, it's from my creative projects, and when you don't have that crush energy, life can feel a little bit flat.
Speaker A
Now, let me be clear, you don't need anyone.
Speaker A
to harness crush energy, this is what they don't want you to know, okay, you can just walk around your life with the conviction, the confidence and a little smirk on your face, just feeling so delighted by it all, that when people walk past you on the street, they think you just got lucky.
Speaker A
And I realized a few months ago that I have the biggest fucking crush on my own life, I have the biggest, fattest, throbbing crush on my own life.
Speaker A
And one of the secrets to having a delicious morning is to just leave the apartment or your home on your way to work or on the way to the gym, on your morning walk, and leave the apartment the second you open that door to the world and walk like you just got fucked, like you just got lucky.
Speaker A
Maybe you have music on, anything to sort of turn you on to being alive.
Speaker A
Okay, you want everything around you to feel like a fucking flirtation.
Speaker A
Even a little bird that sort of lands in your path, just smile at it, you know, like a movie sequence.
Speaker A
Play some good music, I love listening to Northern Soul in my mornings, because it's the most, it's just, it's music that's just dripping with such euphoric fucking ecstasy, if the world had a big Northern Soul dance party, I do think we would heal.
Speaker A
Anyway, so you want to leave your home, you want to have a little glisten and a little smirk, like you've got a little secret, right?
Speaker A
That's why when we see people walking home from a really good night with someone, and they have that little smirk, it's like a little, a little secret, right?
Speaker A
It's like you just did something gorgeous, and it, it represents this potential.
Speaker A
That's what crush energy is.
Speaker A
It represents this unrealized potential, right, because you only know the fantasy of what this person could be, but you can take crush energy and apply it to your entire life, because all of life is unknown.
Speaker A
And so you can actually take crush energy and apply it to every single day that you wake up, like kind of turn yourself on to life in the morning and be like, what's gonna happen today?
Speaker A
Who knows, it's like this existential edging where you don't know what's coming next.
Speaker A
Every single day.
Speaker A
You don't know what's coming next.
Speaker A
That's hot, that's hot.
Speaker A
You're in the stage, what, when you don't know what's next in life, you are in that juicy, ripe stage of potential before it's flattened into a physical reality, right?
Speaker A
And so if you wake up in the mornings and you're feeling a little bit flat, just try deciding that you have a big fat throbbing crush on your life, leave your house on your walk to work, and just have a little smile on your face, and someone will smile back.
Speaker A
Flirt with the world, flirt with your life, flirt with your potential, because life will flirt back.
Speaker A
Life always flirts back with you, but you need to make the first move, so if you feel like you're lacking excitement and crush energy, that that energy you have when you fancy someone or something or there's an exciting job opportunity coming up, right?
Speaker A
That excitement, that yearning, if you're missing that in life, just try flirting with your life, because it flirts back every single time, I like to view life as my lover, and she just wants my attention.
Speaker A
She just wants me to flirt with her, right, like she doesn't need much, she just wants my attention, she just wants me to spend five minutes and slow down and observe her.
Speaker A
And every time I do that, it's like she loves me back.
Speaker A
She's such a reciprocal lover, life is such a reciprocal lover, but you need to be the one to make the first move.
Speaker A
So, if you feel like you're lacking love in your life, ask yourself if you have been giving out love first, always start with the self, yeah, because, you know, there's this amazing analogy that the mirror doesn't smile before you do.
Speaker A
The mirror doesn't smile at you first.
Speaker A
You need to smile and then it reflects it back.
Speaker A
And it's the same with life.
Speaker A
If life is boring, flirt with it.
Speaker A
And when I say flirt with life, I mean just notice the bird that lands on your window every morning.
Speaker A
Notice the way that the sun is dappling on the street through the tree leaves, notice how, I don't know, an old lady has done her hair that day at your local coffee shop, and tell her she looks fucking cute.
Speaker A
Tell the woman that makes your coffee you like her shade of lipstick when she's wearing red lipstick.
Speaker A
Compliment the sparkle in someone's fucking eyes, say good morning to someone.
Speaker A
Walk around the world with a little smirk on your face, can you hear my smirk while I'm saying this?
Speaker A
I have turned myself on to life even recording this episode right now, I have like the biggest grin on my face.
Speaker A
And it's because I'm thinking about this crush energy, I, I really feel like that's what life is about, and when we don't have this yearning for what's next, that's when we get Depresso Espresso.
Speaker A
When we don't have anything even just in the calendar, you know, if I don't have a solo cinema date with myself or a creative project to work on or something, just something in the fucking calendar, right?
Speaker A
That's why I have my morning walks that begin and end with getting a coffee, because I have something to wake up for every single day, I have a walk that I like to go on.
Speaker A
I've got a book to write, I've got a podcast that I want to record.
Speaker A
There is always something to wake up for, but you have to create the thing, yeah, and that that beautiful, delicious yearning energy.
Speaker A
You know what that feels like, because maybe you've placed it only in the romantic interests in your life.
Speaker A
Because that's what we're taught to do, we're taught to seek romance outside of ourselves and sort of wait for it to be delivered to us by a person that picks us, yeah?
Speaker A
And then we spend our whole fucking lives contorting ourselves into this idea of someone that will be chosen, but the magic happens when you choose yourself, when you become the love that you are seeking.
Speaker A
And not even just become the love that you are seeking, but become the love, period, just become love.
Speaker A
And walk around the world finding little moments of love, finding ways and noticing the ways that life is trying to love you.
Speaker A
But you have to seek it.
Speaker A
You know, you have to wake up every single morning and decide that life is your lover.
Speaker A
And you're gonna pay attention to her.
Speaker A
Because she's your lover.
Speaker A
She wants your attention.
Speaker A
And let me take this further, I wrote about this in a chapter in my last book called How to Pay Attention to Life Your Lover.
Speaker A
And I actually haven't read this since I published it a year ago, I never read my books again, I just don't, I move on.
Speaker A
Okay, I've gone through the entire process of slowing down to flirt with your fucking life.
Speaker A
I've gone through all of the steps in here.
Speaker A
I'm not gonna read it out.
Speaker A
There's an, the audio book is on Spotify too, but I would love you to own a physical copy because the book is fully illustrated by me as well.
Speaker A
But yeah, slow down.
Speaker A
Pay attention to your lover.
Speaker A
Look around.
Speaker A
And try to see the ways that she's flirting with you.
Speaker A
Flirt back.
Speaker A
Make a fucking move on your own life.
Speaker A
I realized a couple years ago that there were periods of my life where I was feeling like shit.
Speaker A
Like really, really shit, I was feeling lonely, I was feeling cut off from the delicious pulse that everyone around me seemed to be in.
Speaker A
Everyone was just riding this wave and I felt like I was sat perched on the river banks just watching everyone else swim together.
Speaker A
That's how I would describe loneliness when it, when it visits me.
Speaker A
And then I realized a lot of the fucking time, it's me who's cut myself off from the wave.
Speaker A
Right, maybe I'd stayed in a bit too much.
Speaker A
Maybe it had been a while since I bought a coffee from the shop because I was making it at home.
Speaker A
And it's been three days since I've had human contact because I didn't live in a building with neighbors.
Speaker A
Like, I realized that there were so many tiny little micro moments of connection that I was missing, especially during winter in the UK.
Speaker A
And it's not that I was some victim to loneliness, it's that I was doing these small little ways of severing myself off from this wave.
Speaker A
And you can put yourself back in.
Speaker A
You can dip your toes back in and flirt with life.
Speaker A
By just deciding to be the fucking love, by being the flirt first.
Speaker A
Whether that is walking down the street with a little skip in your step.
Speaker A
Or looking at the bird on your window sill.
Speaker A
Or stopping to stare at a beautiful building when you see it.
Speaker A
Like life is always trying to give you love and beauty.
Speaker A
We just, we're just not trained to see it.
Speaker A
We don't linger.
Speaker A
Our eyes don't get sticky enough on life.
Speaker A
We sort of breeze past it going from one point to the next.
Speaker A
Yeah, when you're feeling like shit and when you, when you're not feeling any love in your life.
Speaker A
You need to check first whether you have been giving out any love.
Speaker A
You got to give it out like it's nothing.
Speaker A
You have to make a move on your life.
Speaker A
You've got to leave your apartment.
Speaker A
And when you leave your apartment, I want you to put on a cute playlist.
Speaker A
All right, I'll make one and I'll put it in the show notes of this episode.
Speaker A
And you want to leave your apartment with a little, little cheeky grin on your face.
Speaker A
And even just literally put your hands in the air and say, let's fucking go.
Speaker A
And just leave, like, treat everything like it's a movie.
Speaker A
And you'll have a great day.
Speaker A
Wink at the birds when you see them.
Speaker A
Blow a kiss to the trees.
Speaker A
Make a little joke with the barista.
Speaker A
Say good morning to someone if you don't already.
Speaker A
Put out these little, these, plant these little seeds of connection.
Speaker A
And water them and watch as they grow and watch as you spread joy around your neighborhood and your whole life.
Speaker A
If that ain't what it all fucking is about, I don't know what it's about.
Speaker A
So yeah, just leave your apartment or your home today with a little cheeky skip in your step and act like you just got fucked.
Speaker A
And the, the way that I sort of came to this phrase, walk around the world like you just got fucked.
Speaker A
It's because I was walking around Los Angeles with a big smile on my face and I was scribbling into my journal and I just thought, oh my God, I'm so in love right now, just in love, period, with life, that anyone looking would think that I was like sexting or something.
Speaker A
So yeah, if life is feeling a bit dull, I want you to walk around with a little skip in your step.
Speaker A
I want you to slow down to show your life that you love her.
Speaker A
Because she's your lover.
Speaker A
She wants your attention.
Speaker A
And let me take this further, I wrote about this in a chapter in my last book called How to Pay Attention to Life Your Lover.
Speaker A
And I actually haven't read this since I published it a year ago.
Speaker A
I never read my books again.
Speaker A
I just don't.
Speaker A
I move on.
Speaker A
Okay, I've gone through the entire process of slowing down to flirt with your fucking life.
Speaker A
I've gone through all of the steps in here.
Speaker A
I'm not gonna read it out.
Speaker A
There's an, the audio book is on Spotify too, but I would love you to own a physical copy because the book is fully illustrated by me as well.
Speaker A
But yeah, slow down.
Speaker A
Pay attention to your lover.
Speaker A
Look around.
Speaker A
And try to see the ways that she's flirting with you.
Speaker A
Flirt back.
Speaker A
Make a fucking move on your own life.
Speaker A
I realized a couple years ago that there were periods of my life where I was feeling like shit.
Speaker A
Like really, really shit, I was feeling lonely, I was feeling cut off from the delicious pulse that everyone around me seemed to be in.
Speaker A
Everyone was just riding this wave and I felt like I was sat perched on the river banks just watching everyone else swim together.
Speaker A
That's how I would describe loneliness when it, when it visits me.
Speaker A
And then I realized a lot of the fucking time, it's me who's cut myself off from the wave.
Speaker A
Right, maybe I'd stayed in a bit too much.
Speaker A
Maybe it had been a while since I bought a coffee from the shop because I was making it at home.
Speaker A
And it's been three days since I've had human contact because I didn't live in a building with neighbors.
Speaker A
Like, I realized that there were so many tiny little micro moments of connection that I was missing, especially during winter in the UK.
Speaker A
And it's not that I was some victim to loneliness, it's that I was doing these small little ways of severing myself off from this wave.
Speaker A
And you can put yourself back in.
Speaker A
You can dip your toes back in and flirt with life.
Speaker A
By just deciding to be the fucking love, by being the flirt first.
Speaker A
Whether that is walking down the street with a little skip in your step.
Speaker A
Or looking at the bird on your window sill.
Speaker A
Or stopping to stare at a beautiful building when you see it.
Speaker A
Like life is always trying to give you love and beauty.
Speaker A
We just, we're just not trained to see it.
Speaker A
We don't linger.
Speaker A
Our eyes don't get sticky enough on life.
Speaker A
We sort of breeze past it going from one point to the next.
Speaker A
Yeah, when you're feeling like shit and when you, when you're not feeling any love in your life.
Speaker A
You need to check first whether you have been giving out any love.
Speaker A
You got to give it out like it's nothing.
Speaker A
You have to make a move on your life.
Speaker A
You've got to leave your apartment.
Speaker A
And when you leave your apartment, I want you to put on a cute playlist.
Speaker A
All right, I'll make one and I'll put it in the show notes of this episode.
Speaker A
And you want to leave your apartment with a little, little cheeky grin on your face.
Speaker A
And even just literally put your hands in the air and say, let's fucking go.
Speaker A
And just leave, like, treat everything like it's a movie.
Speaker A
And you'll have a great day.
Speaker A
Wink at the birds when you see them.
Speaker A
Blow a kiss to the trees.
Speaker A
Make a little joke with the barista.
Speaker A
Say good morning to someone if you don't already.
Speaker A
Put out these little, these, plant these little seeds of connection.
Speaker A
And water them and watch as they grow and watch as you spread joy around your neighborhood and your whole life.
Speaker A
I think there was a study that showed cities where people meditated more.
Speaker A
Or maybe like communities, like smaller communities where like a certain amount of people meditated, impacted the levels of anxiety and reduced the levels of anxiety of that entire fucking neighborhood.
Speaker A
Okay, I've just got the correct data up, so 4,000 people practiced transcendental meditation over several weeks in Washington D.C.
Speaker A
And it reduced the crime in the area by 23% and it could not be explained by any other variable by the police.
Speaker A
There is a claim that communities where 1% of people meditate show an average of 16% reduction in violent crime.
Speaker A
So, basically, you just create this ripple effect of consciousness and peace and joy.
Speaker A
If you want to live in a beautiful world, it takes a lot of courage because you need to be the beautiful world.
Speaker A
You need to be the love that you want to see.
Speaker A
So yeah, walk around like you just got fucked.
Speaker A
And feel amazing doing it.
Speaker A
I can't wait to make this little playlist for you.
Speaker A
Try it, honestly, it sounds crazy, but it really is just a decision.
Speaker A
To embody that state.
Speaker A
And what you realize is that you change your life, you change your mood.
Speaker A
Without needing other people to bring you up.
Speaker A
You don't need a good shag.
Speaker A
You don't need it.
Speaker A
You don't need a good date, you don't need a good relationship.
Speaker A
You don't need work should be going well, you can just decide to act like a woman.
Speaker A
Who's walking home from a great shag.
Speaker A
In the morning, little cheeky skip in her step.
Speaker A
You can just decide it.
Speaker A
It's so fun.
Speaker A
I genuinely walk around the world like that.
Speaker A
And it's not because I want people to think that I just got lucky.
Speaker A
But because living in that potent crush energy.
Speaker A
But directing it towards your whole life.
Speaker A
There is no more fun way to live than that.
Speaker A
Life is so fun, life can be so fucking fun and romantic.
Speaker A
And do whatever the fuck you need to do to walk around the world in your most delicious.
Speaker A
Magnetic state.
Speaker A
You're gonna be so addicted to be around.
Speaker A
You understand how addictive it is to be around someone.
Speaker A
That fucking loves themselves.
Speaker A
So yeah.
Speaker A
Walk around this week like you just got fucked.
Speaker A
I love you.
Topics:flirt with lifecrush energyself-lovemorning routinepositivitymindfulnesscreative projectsjoyful livinglife motivationFlorence Given
