Speaker A
So I'm going to tell you a lot of cool stuff today, I'm going to probably be telling you things that nobody has ever told you before.
Discover why women delay replies despite constant phone use and how men can improve attraction by focusing on self-leadership, not trying too hard.
Key Takeaways
- Attraction cannot be forced or outgamed by specific words or actions.
- Trying too hard to communicate lowers perceived value and attraction.
- Men should prioritize leading themselves and building intrinsic value.
- Women’s communication frequency correlates with their emotional attraction level.
- High-value men attract women naturally without needing to try.
Summary
- Women often delay replies not due to lack of phone use but because they may not be genuinely attracted and see men as backup options.
- Men frequently misunderstand attraction, believing they can 'outgame' it through specific words or actions, which is flawed thinking.
- Attraction is guided by a woman's emotions and perceived status of the man, not by how much effort or trying he puts in.
- Instant messaging and trying too hard signals low value and desperation, which reduces attraction.
- Men are misled to think they must pursue and lead women, but the real job is to lead themselves and maintain high personal value.
- Women naturally seek strength, status, protection, and resources, which men should embody rather than chase.
- Men with high value do not need to try because their status naturally attracts women.
- Understanding the 'language of women' and their lens of attraction is key to improving dating success.
- Signs a woman is interested include her initiating contact, introducing you to friends, or seeking proximity.
- The video encourages men to stop trying to 'game' attraction and instead focus on self-improvement and authentic confidence.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
I'm going to explain to you why women take so long to reply even though they stare at their phone all day.
Speaker A
And they're constantly looking at their phone, they're staring at social media, they're looking at what this person said, what that person said, why do they still ignore you?
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Why do they take so long to reply?
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Why don't they seem more eager and urgent to make plans with you?
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There's a bunch of reasons for this, no one's probably ever told you this before.
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But since I explain these topics literally better than anybody, I really understand this at a high level and I wholeheartedly believe that I can really break this down for you into a step-by-step process you'll be able to understand.
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And the cool thing about this video is you'll be able to actually take this info and apply it into your own dating life once I show you this.
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So on top of that, we just crossed over 1570 guys inside of our community.
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What I advise you to do after this video is over is learn, understand and master the language of women.
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Which I can help you with and since I have so many guys inside of there actually getting far better results in their own dating life.
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I know that I can help you too and I want you to see what I made.
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It's truly some of my best work.
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But let's dive in, okay?
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Majority of men today are trying to raise the interest of a woman or talk to a woman who fundamentally does not like them.
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And the reason why most men are confused about this is because they'll still get a reply occasionally.
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It's like they get a reply but they only get a reply once every six hours or eight hours.
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Or they'll get a reply but it's random.
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And this leaves men in a constant state of confusion.
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Because they're sitting there going, well, why does she reply sometimes but not other times?
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Am I saying the wrong thing?
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The answer is no, she just would like some free attention.
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But she doesn't actually like you, but she would love your attention because she would love to have you as a backup option for her own future benefit if something were to happen.
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She would love to keep you as a backup option for later if all of her other primary options don't work out.
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Here's what you have to remember.
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Majority of men today think that there is something that they can do or something that they can say in order to get her to view him or to view that guy as more attractive.
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They think that there's something they can do or something they can say.
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Now, I'm going to show you why this is very bad and very flawed thinking.
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First and foremost, most men believe that they can outgame attraction.
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So when I say game, I'm talking about how guys view their game verbally.
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Oh, I said this and I did this and I said this thing and I did that thing.
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So now she likes me.
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If only I could do this or if only I could say the right words in the right combination in the right order.
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Now she'd like me.
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It doesn't work like that.
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Most men believe that they can outgame attraction.
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When in reality, how she views you is how she views you.
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Now, what we're going to do is take this a step further, okay?
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The real reason why this is so bad is because men fail to realize that since women are guided by their emotions, how they feel about you and how much they're willing to communicate is a direct correlation to their attraction level towards you.
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What does that mean?
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That means if her emotions were happier and felt better and were more attracted to you as a man, she would be replying more, okay?
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Their emotions oftentimes guide their decision-making process.
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So how they feel about you and how much they're willing to communicate is a direct correlation to their attraction level towards you.
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So, let me give you an example here.
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So, here's what you need to do.
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Instead of trying to say the right things, instead of trying to text message the right things, instead, always focus on changing the lens she sees you through to alter your perceived status.
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Okay, she's viewing you through a specific lens, like her worldview of you needs to change to one of elevated perceived status.
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That is how you're going to gain her attraction, okay?
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It's not going to be by saying something different.
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So, how she thinks or feels when you instantly message her.
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Like when you instantly send that text message.
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Here's how she feels.
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She goes, wow, he is trying to talk to me.
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Look at him try.
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He is trying to communicate with me.
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Wow, he is trying to see me.
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And then she goes, he must not have other women at or above my current level of attractiveness.
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Look at him try.
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Look at him try to talk to me.
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Look at him try to communicate.
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Look at him try to see me.
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If he had all of this value that a guy is supposed to have in my mind.
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Wouldn't I be the one trying to talk to him?
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Wouldn't I be the one giving more effort?
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He must not have a lot of value if he's trying.
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This is what she thinks.
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You trying in the first place is exactly what makes you less attractive.
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Is trying.
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But most men don't know this.
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Most men think it's my job to pursue a woman, it's my job to look for companionship.
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I need to show her how much I care.
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If she doesn't reply to the first two text messages, I better send two or three more.
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This is what happens.
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And at the end of the day, she is going to want who she wants, okay?
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So, let me tell you something.
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It makes zero sense for you as a man to try.
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Literally zero.
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You should be coming into any interaction already full of value.
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And I'm going to show you why it makes zero sense for you to try, okay?
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Women naturally seek things like strength, status, protection and resources.
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All of these things from a man.
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That he could bring to the table.
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Therefore, it's her nature to desire you, okay?
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But men have been misled to believe that it's their job to pursue a woman and to lead her.
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And this is not true.
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It is not your job to pursue a woman or even lead her.
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I'm going to tell you what is your job.
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Your job is to lead yourself.
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And at the end of the day, she will decide who she follows.
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You lead yourself.
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That's it.
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You worry about you.
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You are number one and you're going to worry about you.
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If you even take the time to lead a woman where you tell yourself in this relationship.
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I'm going to prioritize being a good leader and leading her.
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Once again, what is the signal?
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Care.
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It's going to signal time.
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It's going to signal effort.
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And once again, look at him try.
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The only person you focus on leading is you.
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And what you're going to notice is when you focus on leading you, she decides to follow oftentimes.
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If she views you as a man that she wants, okay?
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Keep that in mind.
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So men with excess value, okay, or men with an excess amount of value or status have no need or reason to try.
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And she knows this deep down.
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She knows that men who have a lot of status or who have a lot of value don't need to try.
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Because they're selected.
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See, if you would stop trying to learn so much game and instead you focus on learning, understanding and mastering the language of women.
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So that way you start to see how a woman views her own lens of attraction.
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This is what you're going to start to realize.
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Is that guys who understand this have no need or reason to try, okay?
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So how women behave when they want you.
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I'm going to show you, I'm going to explain.
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This is how women behave when they actually want you.
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You're going to see them do things like this.
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If you're out.
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She comes up to you or a woman comes up to you and she says, hey, my friend likes you and thinks you're really cute and wants you to talk to her.
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Can you go talk to her?
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She really wants you to talk to her.
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That's one thing you're going to notice.
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A second thing.
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You might be out at a restaurant or something.
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And she just comes and sits by you when you're out.
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Maybe she asks you, is this seat taken?
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Oh, what did you order?
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Oh, how does that taste, I didn't order that, I got this.
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You're going to notice she will just start to talk to you.
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Okay, and I'm even going to show you how a lot of my relationships have unfolded over the years in my own personal stories.
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But stay with me until the end to see that.
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Because this will all come together.
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Okay, friends, okay?
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Like let's say you have friends on social media, she might friend you on social media or she starts replying to your stories or liking your stories or replying to them.
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She starts trying to communicate with you.
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Okay, another thing.
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Here's what you have to remember, she doesn't text you back because she doesn't like you, but she will gladly take that free attention.
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She doesn't like you.
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You got to realize this, there's a lot of women you're talking to right now in your cell phone.
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And most of them don't like you.
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Most of them have no interest in you at all.
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They will just keep taking minutes of your time talking because this allows them to feel safe.
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Because they know that, well, at least somebody's out there for me.
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At least somebody's out there to give me some attention.
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If my relationship doesn't work out well with John or Tom or Brad or Frank.
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At least Henry and Tim are here waiting.
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So I better just give them one text message every week or two.
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That's going to make me feel better so that way I know I'm safe down the road.
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If my current relationship fails, at least there's some man out there who's going to give me some of that value that I'm after.
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Which would be his status or his ability to provide her some kind of safety and resources.
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This is why she still talks to you.
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But she has no interest in you romantically.
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She stares at her phone, subconsciously laughing at all the men who think they have a chance.
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She looks down at the phone and she says, wow, look at all of them try.
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So here's what you have to remember, I'm not telling you these things to make you like give up in your dating life.
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But I just need you to start to apply things a little differently.
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And you're going to see what I mean.
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Women will always try to get you to lower your own internal confidence and your own internal swagger, okay?
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This is a woman's goal.
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Slowly through a dating experience or a relationship is to slowly see if she can change the man.
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And make him go weak and fall in love and slowly emasculate him.
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So here's what's happening here.
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She wants you to feel the rejection when you say, hey, want to go to a movie, want to go out to eat, want to go do something.
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She wants you to feel the rejection.
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She wants you to feel inadequate.
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And she wants you to feel ignored.
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These are the three things you have to remember.
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She wants you to feel rejection, inadequacy and she wants you to feel like you're ignored.
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So by her not replying, she gets you to now lower your self-esteem.
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She doesn't want you to have confidence.
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Her goal naturally is to lower your confidence.
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So even if she, okay, is dating a guy, let's say, her nature, okay?
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And natural instinct.
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Her natural nature, her natural instinct is to try to gain the leverage and power in the relationship.
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Okay, by leaving him emasculated.
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So this is what you have to know.
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Your cell phone when you are text messaging, when you are communicating, this is a device for you to lose.
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Because you're giving away your attention without her being there in front of you.
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Keep that in mind.
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All forms of communication is validation.
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And the funniest thing about this is, you know, if this was a thousand or 2,000 years ago.
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Or however long, I don't know.
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You know, whenever communication type technology, let's say, did not exist.
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Well, in order for her to gain your attention, she would have to be in front of you speaking to you.
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Well, now she could be a thousand miles away on vacation.
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And she still gets your attention.
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So naturally, they don't want majority of men because majority of men give their attention away so easily.
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Because men are always accessible now.
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So let me give you some examples in my own dating life right here.
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You need to stop trying to text message and communicate with them altogether.
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Because they will choose you.
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Okay, keep this in mind.
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When she likes you, she will choose you.
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And I'm going to give you numerous experiences here which will help you realize this, okay?
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My first girlfriend that I had and we dated for a couple years, she came up to me at a house party.
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And she told me that she wanted to go home with me.
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I wasn't even talking to her.
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She wandered around the house party and then she chose me.
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And she stood right there and started to talk to me.
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And she didn't leave my side the whole night.
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And then she told me she wanted to go home with me.
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That was my first girlfriend.
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We dated for a couple years.
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My second girlfriend.
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We dated for about three years.
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She was a client of mine when I did fitness coaching.
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She started texting me back and forth more and more.
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And then we went out for ice cream.
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She chose me, okay?
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Let me give you some more examples, okay?
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When me and my second girlfriend broke up, I saw her friend for about a year.
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So my second girlfriend, she had a friend.
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And then guess what?
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Here's how this happened.
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Her friend, she followed me on social media and she started communicating with me through direct messages back and forth.
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I was chosen.
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I've had women that I've dated, okay, and the reason why we dated was because she started liking my stories on social media.
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Okay, and my posts leading things to the direct messages.
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There was nothing I could have done.
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Nothing I needed to say.
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No amount of anything applied.
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They do the choosing.
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They do 100% of the choosing and this is what guys trying to prioritize social skills don't see.
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And they fail to realize.
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There are so many guys where they tell themselves, oh, if only I had a better vibe.
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If only I had better social skills.
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If only I was able to talk better.
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You got to understand this.
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You don't need these crazy amount of good social skills.
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It's not needed at all.
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Completely pointless.
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Your social skills are just fine.
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You've been talking to people your whole life.
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And that's why there's still, you know.
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You're still doing good.
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Your whole life you've been just fine with your social skills.
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You're alive and happy and healthy and doing well.
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So you don't need to do anything better.
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Because what you've done, you're still doing well and you're still here.
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So there ain't no need to confuse yourself to tell yourself, oh, I got to do this and that and this and that.
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She doesn't care, okay?
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She wants who she wants.
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You will oftentimes see a lot of women, they will date or be in relationships with guys who have really bad social skills.
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With guys who don't talk very well.
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Sometimes with guys who don't even talk much at all.
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A lot of times social skills is like the last on her priority list.
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She don't care.
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So I'm going to tell you this, if you focus on changing her perception of you.
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To elevate your perceived status, this is where you're going to start to win.
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And the coolest thing about this is I created a whole system.
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Now, if there was only 100 people who have seen this, it wouldn't be that cool.
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If there was 500 people in this, it would be decent.
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But we now have over 1570 guys inside of this.
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And I'm helping them learn, understand and master the language of women.
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And I truly believe that this can help you too.
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So I want you to join us inside of that.
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Hit the like button, comment and subscribe and we'll see you in the next one.
Topics:dating advicewomen attractiontexting womenmale self-improvementdating psychologyrelationship tipsattraction secretssocial dynamicsconfidence buildingCasey Zander
