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Have you ever looked back on your life, maybe 10 years ago, 20 years ago and realized that everything has changed.
Discover 7 mindset habits that transformed the host's life, including radical responsibility, daily gratitude, and reframing fear as a guide.
Key Takeaways
- Taking radical responsibility empowers you to control your life and outcomes.
- Daily gratitude shifts your brain's focus from negativity to positivity, improving emotional well-being.
- Fear can be reframed as a useful guide rather than a barrier.
- Mindset changes require consistent practice and lead to lasting transformation.
- You have more power over your happiness and success than external circumstances.
Summary
- The host reflects on how repeated small decisions, not one big breakthrough, changed their life over 10-20 years.
- Radical responsibility: Taking full ownership of one's life and outcomes, shifting from victimhood to empowerment.
- Daily gratitude practice: Training the brain's reticular activating system to focus on positive aspects, reducing anxiety and negativity.
- Reframing fear as a compass: Using fear as a signal to guide actions rather than retreat.
- The mindset habits rewired the brain, built confidence, and helped overcome shame, fear, and feelings of inadequacy.
- The host emphasizes that mindset shifts are about power, not shame, and encourages listeners to adopt these habits.
- Gratitude is more than journaling; it's about deeply feeling appreciation to soften negative emotions.
- The brain filters millions of inputs per second, and negativity bias can be retrained to focus on joy and gratitude.
- Taking responsibility means no longer blaming external factors like past, people, or circumstances.
- These habits changed how the host shows up in the world and created a life aligned with their values.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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Like everything. You are not the same person.
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You don't think the same. Besides your face looking the same and a little bit older,
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there's no aspect of your old self that exists anymore. And it's not because of one big breakthrough.
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It's because of a few quiet, repeated decisions.
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I've been thinking a lot about this recently because I think about who I used to be.
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I think about who I am now, and even though I look the same, my life is completely unrecognizable.
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And every part about me, especially in my mind, is absolutely unrecognizable.
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And so I want to share with you the seven mindsets that mindset of habits that just completely changed my life.
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And hopefully I inspire you to take on one of these or two of these or every one of these.
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And, you know, these seven habits didn't just shift my thoughts.
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They changed how I showed up in the world. They rewired my brain.
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They built my confidence. They reminded me.
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Or actually taught me what the hell I was doing in this world.
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And underneath all of the shame and the the fear and the not good enoughs.
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It was able to to work through those things and start to quiet them down.
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Not that they're all gone, but just that they're they're quiet.
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The shame, the fear, the not good enoughs. They're way quieter than they used to be.
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And if you're anything like I used to be, which is overthinking or people pleasing or chasing perfection.
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Or not taking the action that you want to.
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Then it's time for you to take your mind back and hopefully pick up one or two of these.
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So, the first thing that really changed my life.
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Number one was taking radical responsibility.
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And at one point in time, I realized that no one's coming to save me.
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And that's good news.
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And that's really the first mindset shift that happened to me when I was 20 years old.
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That just broke my identity wide open.
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I stopped blaming people.
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I stopped blaming my past. I stopped blaming my parents.
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I stopped blaming the economy, my exes, the weather.
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Mercury and retrograde or the algorithms or all of those things.
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I realized that I have to be the person to do it.
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And it was through one conversation that I had with my one-on-one coach at the time.
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I was 20 years old and I was making excuses.
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I was showing up late to calls. I was not getting my assignments done on a weekly basis.
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And I've told this story before, but it was a conversation that really changed the course of my life.
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He said, Hey, man, I've got a question for you. Like, if you look at a business.
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And a business fails, whose fault is that?
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I was like, that's the CEO's fault.
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He said, if you look at a business and it's got, you know, thousands of employees and and one person's able to take all those thousands of employees and move the whole company in one direction.
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And succeed, whose fault is that?
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I was like, well, that would be the CEO's fault.
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He said, okay, so let me ask you this.
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If you get to the end of your life and you look back with regret, you don't have the life that you want.
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You wish you would have done more. You wish you would have loved more.
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You wish you had more peace, joy, happiness, love, all of those things.
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And you don't have as much as you wanted and you didn't create the life that you want.
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Whose fault would it be?
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I was like, that would be my fault.
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He's like, and if you did have the love, the joy, the happiness, everything you've ever wanted, you created an amazing life and you're on your deathbed.
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Whose fault would that be?
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I was like, that'd be my fault.
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He said, so the problem with you, Rob, is you're blaming everybody else but yourself.
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You're not showing up. You're not taking your life serious seriously.
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And you're not acting like the CEO of your life.
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And I was like, 10-4, got it.
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From that moment on, I was like, everything is my responsibility.
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Right? The good, the bad, the still working on it.
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And it's not the thing that I want you to understand is it's not about shame.
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And shaming myself to do it.
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It's about power.
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Because as long as something is out there that's responsible for my happiness.
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Or responsible for my money, responsible for my joy or my love.
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Whatever it might be, as long as it's out there.
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I'm going to stay stuck.
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But when you take responsibility for everything, you're no longer the victim in your life.
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You're the sole person in control of your life.
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But once you say like, you know, it's on me to heal, it's on me to change, it's on me to create the life that I want for myself and my family.
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Once you really get that clicked into your brain, everything changes completely.
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And so that's the first thing.
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And I think the most important thing is taking absolute radical responsibility for your life.
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So that's the first one that changed my life.
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The second thing that changed my life is practicing daily gratitude.
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Even when life sucks.
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And gratitude seems like this cute little, you know, flowery.
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I'm going to put on my yoga pants and I'm going to be all grateful.
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And that's the way I always thought about it for years.
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But it's not just like a cute little habit.
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What I have realized over the past couple years when I've really been focusing on gratitude.
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Is that gratitude is a gateway to happier moments in your life.
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Happier days in your life.
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Without needing to change anything except for your perspective.
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And so you have this thing in your brain called the reticular activating system.
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And if you've never heard of it before, it's basically the filter of your brain.
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Your brain has approximately about 11 million bits of information that can come into your brain at any second.
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And your brain is filtering out, what do I need? What do I not need?
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And out of those 11 million bits per second, it only takes in between 30 to 80 bits per second.
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So it's filtering out 99.99999% of things.
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And your brain can be trained for what you want it to look at.
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And so we all have as humans negativity bias.
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Which is where our brain will search for what is wrong in our life.
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AKA, what is negative as a safety mechanism.
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And so we'll see all of the negative in our life.
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But that's going to make you feel like shit.
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So you train your nervous system and your reticular activating system to stop scanning for danger.
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And start scanning for joy, for happiness, for things that you can be grateful for.
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And that changed the course of how I feel every single day.
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And I would let myself not just like journal on it, I would let myself feel.
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What it felt like as if there was a hole in the top of my head and someone was just pouring.
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Gratitude in through the top of my head.
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You know, it's not just like writing down my gratitude.
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Like a to-do list, it's feeling that.
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And what's really weird is that once I did that, it's like everything softened.
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Like my fear softened, my anxiety softened, my spiraling, my overthinking.
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All of those things were just.
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I don't have to worry as much.
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Because life's pretty damn good right now.
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You know, it might not be where you want it to be, but it's still pretty good.
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And it's like that phrase, and I think about it all the time.
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Is your mind can make heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven.
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But it's all just based off your perspective and what you decide to look at.
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Gratitude doesn't mean that you ignore the hard stuff.
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It just reminds you that there's more here than just the pain and the negativity around you.
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You're way, I'm telling you this, and I promise you, you're no matter where you are in life.
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You are way more blessed than you allow yourself to recognize.
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So every morning, just sit in silence, just think of something that you're grateful for.
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And just let that feeling just soak in for a few minutes.
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You're setting your internal GPS for how you want to feel for the day.
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So that's number two.
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Number three is I started reframing fear as a compass.
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And what I mean by that is fear.
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Instead of when I felt it, I would back away, is when I would feel it, I started leaning in.
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Fear isn't the enemy.
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Fear is just your nervous system going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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We're doing something unfamiliar.
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We're doing something on the edge of our comfort zone.
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And I logically know that in order for me to change my life, I need to get out of my comfort zone.
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And so if my brain is showing me fear, then it's showing me I'm on the edge of my comfort zone.
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Not that I'm going to die if I make a cold call or if I put up an Instagram post.
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I'm not going to die.
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When I feel that fear.
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I'm not going to die if I do it.
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And so instead of backing away when I felt fear, it was just leaning in a little bit.
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And pushing just a little bit past my comfort zone.
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It's not a stop sign.
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It's just a signal.
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And most of the time, it's pointing to something that's important for you to push past a little bit.
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And so.
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I I started to notice the more I was afraid of doing something.
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The more that something was tied to growth into getting out of my comfort zone.
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And that fear was tied to my dreams.
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And so I was like, okay, so if I feel this fear, I you know, if I'm looking at my dreams.
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I've got to get out of my comfort zone. I've got to do this. I've got to grow.
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And so the fear was actually a compass for what I should do, not what I shouldn't do.
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Like starting my podcast.
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When I started this podcast back in 2015, I had the idea in January of 2015.
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I didn't start it till August of 2015 for eight months.
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I was scared.
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And then I realized this is something that I feel is the right thing to do.
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I should do this.
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And so it was like starting my podcast.
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Scared the hell out of me, but I did it anyways.
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Getting on stage for the first time in front of 10 people.
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Scared the hell out of me.
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And then I started doing a little bit more and a little bit more.
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And now, you know, I I am excited to get on stage in front of 3000 people sometimes.
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You know, opening up about my story when I first started the podcast.
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All of these things scared me.
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I was scared every single time.
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But I did it anyways.
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And the shift is instead of thinking, I'm scared, I should wait.
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The feeling is I'm scared, so this probably matters.
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And so I should do this.
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And so think about that. Like, what would you do today if you weren't afraid?
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How is that fear attached to your your dreams and what you want to create?
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And if you feel it, it's okay.
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You can feel the fear and do it anyways.
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So just do it anyways.
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So that's number three.
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Number four is learning to trust my intuition.
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It's trusting the whisper over the scream.
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You know, there's a a quote that says, your fears will scream at you.
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Your intuition whispers.
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And so you've got to think about that.
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It doesn't.
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Your intuition doesn't demand anything from you.
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It doesn't tell you what to do.
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It doesn't rationalize.
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It simply is just an internal feeling.
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It's an internal nudge.
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And most of us have been taught to ignore that whisper.
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And to think logically instead.
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Or to wait until we have a clear plan that we can be absolute certain for.
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Or to keep doing what's safe.
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Or to listen to our fears in some sort of way.
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The whisper, it's very, very subtle.
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But the whisper, in my opinion, is the wisest part of you.
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You're just keeping yourself too damn busy to actually listen to it.
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You're too busy scrolling and watching this and doing that and doing that and doing this.
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And like you're you're just constantly doing things all the time versus going inward.
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And actually paying attention to you.
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It's there.
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I promise you, it's there.
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You've just got to get better at listening to it.
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My whole life changed when I started listening to that quiet voice.
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That quiet inspiration that was inside of me.
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Even if it makes made zero logical sense.
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Like starting this podcast and quitting my job 10 years ago to do this podcast.
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Made no sense.
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There was no money to be made.
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People didn't listen to podcasts. They didn't know how to listen to podcasts.
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And a lot of times when I told people I had a podcast, they said, what is a podcast?
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Fast forward over 10 years now, and you're like, you know, it was a pretty good decision.
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But it was only because I had this internal feeling of like, this feels like the thing I'm supposed to do with my life.
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It didn't come from like creating a five-year plan.
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It didn't.
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I had no plan. It was just like, this feels right.
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And I'm going to follow what feels right.
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So you have to understand, it's going to whisper to you.
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It's not going to shout.
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But you've got to get quiet enough to listen to it and to hear it.
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So that's number four.
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Number five is to act before you feel ready.
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Have you ever said something like, I just need to get more confident about it.
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Or I'm I'm really busy right now.
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Or I'll do that later.
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Or I need to learn more before I take any action.
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Me too.
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I've done it.
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But I want you to understand, confidence doesn't come from thinking about doing the thing.
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It comes from doing the thing.
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Scared.
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And then realizing, oh, you survived.
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It comes from showing up for yourself. It comes from taking action.
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When you don't feel like taking action, it comes from following through.
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And doing what you said you were going to do.
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That's where confidence comes from.
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Being ready is a myth.
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You'll never be ready.
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Action is what makes you ready.
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You become ready the more that you do something.
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So you've got to learn to just start messy.
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One of my favorite phrases in the way I've really tried to live my life.
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Especially since being a business owner, is ready fire aim.
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Not ready aim fire, ready fire aim.
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So in my business, we'll figure out something, boom, this is an idea that came through.
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Let's put a couple things down. Let's just take messy action immediately.
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And do it.
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And let's just see if it floats.
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Like take messy action and as we do it, then as we fire, then we start to aim.
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Okay, this worked, this didn't work.
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And instead of like creating the perfect plan, it's we come up with the plan as we're doing it.
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Because then we're going to come up with a better plan because now we know a little bit of what works and a little bit of what doesn't work.
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Right? So you have to start messy. You have to speak before your voice feels strong.
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It took me like 600, 650 episodes before I finally felt found like I felt my voice.
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And found my voice in this podcast.
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So you have to show up and just do it anyways.
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You know, speak before you feel like you know what to say.
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You know, show up even when your inner critic is screaming at you.
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Start the business before you have all the details.
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And that's how you build momentum and you start to learn more about what you're doing as you're doing it.
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So you don't need to feel ready.
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You just need to feel willing more than anything else.
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And so you have to start because the longer that you delay it, the doubt gets louder and louder.
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I promise you that.
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So that's number five.
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Number six is speaking to myself the way that I would speak to someone that I love.
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That inner voice that we all have, it becomes our outer reality.
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And for years, mine was pretty mean.
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Like savage.
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Like the things I said to myself in my head, I would never say to a stranger.
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I wouldn't even say it to someone that I was my worst enemy.
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Let alone someone that I actually love.
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And so I started shifting it.
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It wasn't overnight.
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But it was just one thought at a time.
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Oh, I don't like that thought. Where did that come from?
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Let me change that thought.
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Oh, I don't like that thought either.
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Let me change that thought.
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So I've decided to become like my own inner hype team.
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Not because I was perfect, but because I was worth being spoken to.
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With love.
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And it used to be like if I had a if I had a speaker on the side of my head that just blasted what I was thinking to myself years ago.
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You'd be like, that guy's an asshole.
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If there's a speaker that was blasting all of the stuff that I think in my head nowadays, you'd be like, that guy's obsessed with himself.
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Right? I'd rather be obsessed with myself and be my biggest fan and my then then my the biggest asshole or my worst enemy.
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Right? And so when I mess up, I'm like, you know, it's okay.
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We learn, we keep going.
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When I succeed, I'm like, damn, dude, you're fucking killing it.
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Like, that's just the way I speak to myself.
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And so I want you to like take a challenge of like for one day.
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Just act like every single thought that you have is being broadcast.
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And then think to yourself, would I want other people to hear me say that to them?
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Would I want other people to hear me say that to myself?
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If not, then you need to change the tone in some sort of way.
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So that's number six.
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And then number seven was letting go of perfectionism.
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Like, let's just be real.
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Perfectionism isn't excellence.
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We're not like elitist and like, oh my gosh, I'm so amazing because I'm a perfectionist.
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Perfectionism isn't excellence at all.
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It's fear that's in a fancy outfit.
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It's fear of judgment or a fear of failure or fear of not being enough or fear of being judged or other people's opinions.
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Wrapped in productivity and to-do lists and more things that need to be done before I actually do what I'm supposed to do.
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Or before I finish this thing.
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But really what it comes down to is done is better than perfect.
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And done imperfectly is what actually builds the dream life that you want.
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The goal isn't to be flawless.
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The goal is to take action.
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The goal is to create momentum.
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The goal is completing what it is I need to do so I can move on to the next thing that I need to do.
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And every time that I choose progress over perfection.
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I moved forward in some sort of way.
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Even if it was messy, even if I cringe later.
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Even if it looked like shit, even if I doubted myself.
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And so try to release being perfect.
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And just try to be more real.
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You know, say, I'm just going to try to complete things versus trying to make everything perfect.
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And so I want you to understand, like, this is these seven habits.
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They didn't just like make me more productive.
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And all of that.
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They did in some way, but more than anything else.
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They absolutely changed my life.
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And so I stopped waiting to be ready. I stopped shrinking around fear.
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I stopped betraying my own voice.
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You don't have to be fearless. You just have to take the right action.
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You know, pay attention. What is your truth?
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What is your voice?
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And so let me ask you, if you think about it.
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Out of these seven habits, which one of them can you start implementing into your life immediately?
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That's all I want you to do.
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Start doing it today.
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You already have what it takes. You just need to act like it.
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Hey, thanks so much for watching this video.
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YouTube thinks for some reason that you want to watch this video right here.
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The algorithm's picking this one for you specifically.
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So click it and watch it.
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And if you want to make sure that you never miss any more videos, hit that button right there to subscribe.
Topics:mindsetpersonal growthradical responsibilitygratitude practicefear managementself-improvementmental healthconfidence buildingovercoming fearpositive thinking
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