**Stanford Luck Researcher: How to Manifest the Life You Want — Transcript & Summary | SozAI**
Source: https://sozai.app/transcript/stanford-luck-researcher-manifest-life/

Dr. Tina Seelig, a Stanford neuroscientist, explains that luck is largely shaped by how we respond to events, and that taking calculated risks, showing gratitude, and staying curious can make us lucki

## Key Takeaways

- Luck is largely within your control through how you respond to events and opportunities.
- Taking calculated risks, like initiating conversations or asking for favors, creates the openings that look like luck.
- Gratitude and generosity strengthen relationships that produce future opportunities.
- Curiosity and asking questions help you discover and capture lucky breaks.
- Consistent small actions compound over time, so trust the process.

## What the video covers

- Dr. Tina Seelig argues that what looks like luck often results from specific actions people took that tempted good fortune their way.
- She distinguishes between fortune (things that happen to you, like birthplace or pandemics) and luck, which she frames as how you respond to what happens.
- Drawing on Viktor Frankl, she describes the space between stimulus and response as the place where we choose how to act.
- Luck requires calculated risk-taking: every decision, such as starting a conversation or asking for a meeting, opens new possibilities.
- Small moments of initiative, like introducing yourself or following up, can create openings that lead to significant opportunities.
- Expressing appreciation, such as writing thank-you notes and being generous in recommending others, builds relationships that generate future luck.
- Cultivating curiosity and asking questions is presented as a major tool for capturing lucky opportunities.
- Building routines that increase exposure to new people and experiences, like going to a coffee shop regularly, makes positive chance encounters more likely.
- Seelig emphasizes trusting the process: consistently making 'deposits' that increase the chance of good outcomes eventually pays off.
- Mel Robbins frames the episode around agency, suggesting that people have daily levers they can use to become luckier.

## Chapters

1. 00:00 Introduction: Why Some People Seem So Lucky
2. 02:30 Guest Introduction and the Science of Luck
3. 08:00 Fortune vs. Luck: What You Can Control
4. 20:00 Responding to Life and Taking Calculated Risks
5. 30:00 Small Moments, Openings, and Real-Life Stories
6. 43:20 Gratitude, Generosity, and Building Relationships
7. 51:40 Curiosity and Asking Questions
8. 56:40 Trusting the Process and Closing Thoughts

Answers

## Questions about this video

What is the main distinction Dr. Seelig makes between fortune and luck?

Dr. Seelig distinguishes fortune as the things that happen to you, such as where you were born or a pandemic, which are largely outside your control. Luck, by contrast, is how you respond to those events, which she argues is within your control.

What role does calculated risk play in becoming luckier?

According to the episode, luck requires taking calculated risks, such as throwing your hat into the ring for an opportunity or starting a conversation with someone interesting. Each decision opens the door to something new that might not otherwise exist.

How can gratitude help create more luck?

Dr. Seelig suggests that showing appreciation, such as sending thoughtful thank-you notes or generously recommending others, strengthens relationships. These relationships often lead to future opportunities that people perceive as lucky breaks.

## Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

00:00

Speaker A

Have you ever looked at someone else's life and thought, "How do they get so lucky?"

00:15

Speaker A

learn how to become a luckier person. [music] Dr. Seelig earned her PhD in neuroscience at Stanford Medical School.

00:22

Speaker A

If you could turn your luck around, wouldn't you?

00:37

Speaker A

That's the point. I mean, this is really important. It looks on the surface as though it's chance, but really underneath there [music] are things that you've done to tempt good luck your way.

00:48

Speaker A

Today's guest is Dr. Tina Seelig. Her work is all about the science of luck.

01:02

Speaker A

week? I would say if you were going to pick one [music] thing, hey, it's Mel. And before we get into this episode, my team was showing me 57% of you who watch the Mel Robbins podcast here on YouTube are not subscribed yet.

01:19

Speaker A

You can learn how to become a luckier person.

01:30

Speaker A

you don't miss a thing and I'm so glad you're here for this episode because this is a really good one. All right, let's dive in. Dr. Tina Celig, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

01:39

Speaker A

Dr. Seelig earned her PhD in neuroscience at Stanford Medical School.

01:52

Speaker A

all of this research around luck and how we can use it to improve our lives. And I think that's where I want to start.

01:59

Speaker A

She's also the author of 18 books.

02:14

Speaker A

I couldn't be more delighted to share this information because when people understand that they have more agency in their lives, they realize that they have levers they can use every single day to make themselves luckier. When you talk

02:31

Speaker A

Luck is success or failure, apparently caused by chance.

02:44

Speaker A

Success or failure apparently. Apparently. Exactly. But what is the apparently in there for? And that's the point. I mean, this is really important. The word apparently, it looks on the surface as though it's chance, but really underneath there are

03:00

Speaker A

Success or failure, apparently. What is "apparently" in there for?

03:13

Speaker A

little treasure buried beneath that which is often times the things that we attribute to luck. Are you saying that once we understand everything you're about to teach us that those things we once just attributed to luck, bad luck or good

03:32

Speaker A

That's the point. I mean, this is really important.

03:48

Speaker A

didn't have anything to do with this." But if you actually unpack it, you'll see what actually happened to bring that good luck your way or people don't understand the things they did to make themselves luckier. And so what I've

04:01

Speaker A

It looks on the surface as though it's chance, but really, underneath, there are things that you've done to tempt good luck your way.

04:19

Speaker A

also have concluded that there is a science to becoming a luckier person. What's the number one thing that drives the lucky breaks that people get? Well, first of all, you have to realize that there is a physics to luck.

04:34

Speaker A

There's something very, very important to keep in mind.

04:52

Speaker A

and they make a mistake in thinking that everything is just happening to them. Well, of course there are some things that are out of your control. How tall you are, where you're born, who your parents are, those are things that are

05:03

Speaker A

Fortune is the things that happen to you.

05:16

Speaker A

might be poverty. There might be all kinds of things. Exactly. A pandemic. Yes. But you have more control over how you respond to it.

05:23

Speaker A

Luck is what you control.

05:37

Speaker A

people that don't happen to me. But when you say there's a big difference between fortune, which to me sounds like the things that you said you don't have control over, but there's a huge group of things that are either positive

05:54

Speaker A

If somebody feels really unlucky right now, what's the first thing they should do this week?

06:09

Speaker A

That's a completely different version of luck than I thought. Well, it's it's really important. It's critically important to distinguish between the things that happen to you and how you respond. I mean, there's this fabulous, you know, very famous

06:22

Speaker A

I would say, if you were going to pick one thing, hey, it's Mel.

06:36

Speaker A

It comes in by taking the time to think about how you actually engage with the world. We are in a constant dance with the world where we are either leading or we're following. And there are times in which the world is leading, right? The

06:51

Speaker A

And before we get into this episode, my team was showing me that 57% of you who watch the Mel Robbins podcast here on YouTube are not subscribed yet.

06:57

Speaker A

I I I've never thought about luck this way. I I have always thought about luck as just something that kind of happens to you or you know if you're unlucky that happens to you too. And so really thinking about the fact that yes, there

07:10

Speaker A

Could you do me a quick favor?

07:29

Speaker A

Exactly. And I am so excited to share the things that people can do to unlock luck in their lives.

07:35

Speaker A

Just hit subscribe so that you don't miss any of the episodes that we post here on YouTube.

07:43

Speaker A

Luck requires taking a chance, a calculated risk. It begins the moment you decide to act in the face of uncertainty. Whether it's throwing your hat into the ring for a competitive opportunity, moving to a distant city without a clear plan, or simply

08:01

Speaker A

It lets me know you're enjoying the guests and the content that we're bringing you, because I want to make sure you don't miss a thing, and I'm so glad you're here for this episode, because this is a really good one.

08:17

Speaker A

What does that mean? Every decision you make opens the door to something brand new. We are always one decision away from a completely different life. I think about this all the time. You know, some of the closest friends I have made in my life are

08:35

Speaker A

All right, let's dive in.

08:47

Speaker A

conversation, that entire world would not have existed. Okay, let's stop right here cuz I love this kind of thing. Okay. Okay. So, I was standing in a bar in n Well, it wasn't a bar. I was standing at a United

09:01

Speaker A

Dr. Tina Seelig, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

09:14

Speaker A

bounce from the party. And behind me, I heard somebody say, "That sounds great. Make it too." I turn around and it was Christopher Robbins, who I will be celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary with this year.

09:32

Speaker A

I could not be more delighted.

09:41

Speaker A

Exactly. Well, I think it's a great example, okay? Because a he, you know, he saw you, he was intrigued, he said, "I'll take the same and you started a conversation." It could have been the end. Think of the number of

09:54

Speaker A

Thank you so much for having me.

09:57

Speaker A

Think about the moments where you see somebody who's interesting, but you don't walk across the room.

10:04

Speaker A

I am thrilled about the topic that we're going to talk about.

10:13

Speaker A

Really? I was flying across the country early early morning flight could have just shut my eyes and gone to sleep. The man sitting next to me was a publisher and I started to chat with him. We've talked for a good long time and at some

10:31

Speaker A

I love your research, and thank you for taking time out of your schedule to come and share all of this research around luck and how we can use it to improve our lives.

10:41

Speaker A

said, "This is very nice, Tina, but not really for us." Said, "Okay, no problem." But guess what? At the end of the flight, we exchanged contact information. And he sent me a text as I was walking off the plane. I stayed in

10:55

Speaker A

And I think that's where I want to start.

11:06

Speaker A

I said, "Hey, guess what? I'm doing a project on the future of publishing. Would you come to class, he said, "Sure." So he came, he met my students.

11:16

Speaker A

So, could you talk to me and the person that's here with us right now and just tell us what might change about our lives if we really apply everything you're about to teach us today?

11:29

Speaker A

here for the students. And he wanted to meet the students who had worked on this project. I said, 'Okay, that sounds pretty cool. Uh, and I set up a lunch.

11:39

Speaker A

I couldn't be more delighted to share this information, because when people understand that they have more agency in their lives, they realize that they have levers they can use every single day to make themselves luckier.

11:53

Speaker A

either one two years earlier but I kept that relationship going. That was the point. There were all these little choices I made that ended up leading to the publication of what I wish I knew when I was 20 starting with the

12:06

Speaker A

When you talk about luck, Dr. Seelig, what are you talking about?

12:20

Speaker A

Exactly. versus something that just happens to some people versus others. Exactly. But here is the important thing Mal.

12:28

Speaker A

What does that mean?

12:47

Speaker A

So I would love to have you, Dr. Celig just speak to the reality for some people that opportunities don't feel ubiquitous and they historically haven't been ubiquitous if let's say you're being discriminated against or you are in a

13:09

Speaker A

First of all, please call me Tina.

13:24

Speaker A

helpful in how you respond to things that are very real. How do you want somebody to think about the opportunities that are out there? Even if you've had a lifetime of feeling like the door is always closed in your face

13:41

Speaker A

The definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance.

13:52

Speaker A

mean people are born into very terrible circumstances. There are people who have medical problems. There are people who have dysfunctional families, but we have choices we make. I I've been doing work for the last, I don't know, 10 years

14:04

Speaker A

Success or failure, apparently.

14:19

Speaker A

often starting with very unfortunate circumstances. And the people who were in this program are given a chance to learn these skills and to develop the mindset needed to be successful when they are released from prison.

14:36

Speaker A

Apparently.

14:48

Speaker A

I think that's so important to understand. And I can tell based on the passion and the just intensity of what you're like, no, this is real. And it doesn't mean that there won't be challenges that you face in life. Those

15:06

Speaker A

Exactly.

15:19

Speaker A

own luck. And as you said that there's opportunities everywhere, but you've got to open the sail to catch them. Can you unpack that analogy of catching the winds of luck?

15:32

Speaker A

But what is the "apparently" in there for?

15:46

Speaker A

There is a windmill. And there is a church sitting on the shore. And the sailboat sailing on the ocean. And the hot air balloons over the ocean. But on the shore is the windmill and the church.

15:57

Speaker A

And that's the point.

16:02

Speaker A

Oh, is that what that is? That is a wind vein on the top of the house. Yeah. Yeah. But it it could look like that at a distance.

16:08

Speaker A

I mean, this is really important.

16:24

Speaker A

even see them. They might open the shutters and see them, but they, you know, they might not even do anything.

16:28

Speaker A

The word "apparently," it looks on the surface as though it's chance, but really, underneath there are things that you've done to tempt good luck your way.

16:41

Speaker A

anything with it. They're just looking, "Oh, there's an opportunity there and there and there." They're not doing anything.

16:46

Speaker A

Oh, okay.

16:58

Speaker A

thinking about getting an online dating profile. You are the weather vein spinning around in the wind doing nothing. Exactly. going nowhere.

17:05

Speaker A

So I want to make sure that I am tracking, and I want to make sure that, as the person who's with us is listening, we got that, because I think there is a little treasure buried beneath that, which is often times the things that we attribute to luck.

17:17

Speaker A

reasonable to be a hot air balloon, to be a leaf in the wind and say, you know, I'm just going to see where my interests take me. Y So that's a reasonable thing to do. But then once you [clears throat]

17:27

Speaker A

Are you saying that once we understand everything you're about to teach us, those things we once just attributed to luck, bad luck or good luck, we could trace back and say, "Actually, there was something that I set in motion that I'm not giving myself credit for that made this chance thing happen"?

17:42

Speaker A

that. Okay, you get a job somewhere. Yes. And you go, okay, I am going to be the best I can in this job.

17:49

Speaker A

Exactly.

17:56

Speaker A

building. You go, okay, I'm going to see what this where this takes me. Oh, I love that. Hold on a second. I want to make sure that you really got what Dr. Cila just told you cuz this is

18:07

Speaker A

And in fact, we often use the word luck to humbly say, "Oh, I didn't have anything to do with this."

18:12

Speaker A

You do not get a job, you get the keys to the building. You bet.

18:15

Speaker A

But if you actually unpack it, you'll see what actually happened to bring that good luck your way, or people don't understand the things they did to make themselves luckier.

18:28

Speaker A

energy and a certain level of ex of excellence and a certain attitude in order to capture the opportunity that is swirling around that office that you're dragging yourself into.

18:41

Speaker A

And so what I've been doing is unpacking all the things that are in that "apparently" to show the things that people actually are doing to make themselves luckier.

18:57

Speaker A

Right? And you can take it further though. Okay? You can become a sailboat. And how do I do that?

19:02

Speaker A

Okay.

19:10

Speaker A

You can be capturing the luck like a windmill where they are locally or you can be a sailboat where you're out there with a goal, a specific goal in mind and you're saying, "How do I get to those

19:22

Speaker A

So you have done all this research.

19:27

Speaker A

And I want to talk to you about how to become a sailboat. Okay? I want to talk to you about that because if you want to be a sailboat to capture the winds of luck, there are three things you need to do. First, you need

19:39

Speaker A

You've written this massive best-selling book, \*What I Wish I Knew About Luck\*.

19:46

Speaker A

Okay? And this is very important to separate these three things. Okay? You build your sailboat. That's all the internal work. You know, it's funny.

19:54

Speaker A

And you also have concluded that there is a science to becoming a luckier person.

20:06

Speaker A

favoring the prepared mind. But what is the prepared mind? That sailboat is your prepared mind. Okay, that is all the internal work that you need to do to be ready to ultimately catch the winds of luck.

20:19

Speaker A

What's the number one thing that drives the lucky breaks that people get?

20:31

Speaker A

How am I doing the internal work to turn this brain of mine that's told me my entire life, oh, things like that don't happen to a person like me. Oh, I'll never get out of this debt. I'm not

20:42

Speaker A

Well, first of all, you have to realize that there is a physics to luck.

20:53

Speaker A

advantage of step one, which is you got to build that sailboat in yourself. Exactly. And it's very, very important.

20:58

Speaker A

All of the world is cause and effect, right?

21:10

Speaker A

do things that are not ethical. They're not legal. I mean, this is how people get caught when they don't have their core values. And in fact, I can tell you a story about what happened to me when I

21:19

Speaker A

Yes.

21:28

Speaker A

It was a medtech company and I was so eager. I was just wanted to do everything right and the president of the company asked me to go and to a conference and it was a conference actually being hosted by a competing

21:41

Speaker A

Fortune is the things that happen to you.

21:58

Speaker A

whether this would be ethical or not. So I said sure of course I'll go. So I got in a plane. I went to Chicago. I registered Dr. Celig from Stanford went to the conference and as the conference started it was a relatively small

22:11

Speaker A

Luck is what you control.

22:21

Speaker A

And they started getting suspicious and they called up my company and they said, "Is Tina Seelig there?" And of course the receptionist said, "Yes, no, no, no, she's not here. She's at a conference in Chicago." And so I was getting into the elevator

22:41

Speaker A

And it's very, very important to distinguish between those two things, because people conflate the concept of fortune and luck, and they make a mistake in thinking that everything is just happening to them.

22:54

Speaker A

I had no idea. I turned around and they looked at me. They backed me in the corner and they said, "Are you a spy?" I mean, I burst into tears, honestly. I was like, "Oh my gosh." But they, you

23:06

Speaker A

Well, of course there are some things that are out of your control.

23:16

Speaker A

quickly. And I sat on the sidewalk thinking, "What happened?" And I realized it was because I hadn't even taken a minute to think about my values and to think about and I was very unlucky, wasn't I? because I should have

23:33

Speaker A

How tall you are, where you're born, who your parents are, those are things that are out of your control.

23:43

Speaker A

there like a simple way to really think about what your core values are? Because I can think about moments in my life, for example, um a period of my life where when we were struggling financially as a young married couple

23:57

Speaker A

That's, you know, you're fortunate or you're unfortunate, right?

24:12

Speaker A

now have shifted because I still value security and safety, but it's not on fire right now. And so I I I have different values, but I think it's one of those things where it's it's it's not something that people

24:26

Speaker A

And the world is spinning and things are happening.

24:41

Speaker A

you figure out what you actually value? So, there are a lot of ways to do it and a lot has to do with taking the time to actually think about it in advance.

24:48

Speaker A

There might be an earthquake.

25:02

Speaker A

you've done the first one, that that door is open. And you have to think about who you want to be in the world. You also can put together a personal board of adviserss. This is a really helpful tool. Who are you going

25:16

Speaker A

There might be a war.

25:24

Speaker A

Who do I go to to get some feedback? And it's also really helpful to have the ability to walk away to have now [clears throat] it's really difficult when you're in a situation where you're feeling financially really vulnerable and you go like I don't know

25:38

Speaker A

You might... there might be systematic racism.

25:51

Speaker A

that were expensive. And then when the company he was working for started doing things that were illegal, he couldn't leave cuz he couldn't afford to give up a job. So think about not putting yourself in a position where you're so

26:06

Speaker A

There might be poverty.

26:16

Speaker A

Well, I can give another example and and let's see if this one checks out, Dr.

26:20

Speaker A

There might be all kinds of things.

26:35

Speaker A

going on and on and on about it because it's a very difficult decision. And she said, "Well, the problem is, you know, I just really am a peacekeeper." And I said, "Hold on a second.

26:45

Speaker A

Exactly.

27:05

Speaker A

And I would imagine that if you don't understand what your core value is in terms of why you want to be even in like a romantic relationship, I want to be with somebody where I can be fully myself

27:18

Speaker A

A pandemic.

27:32

Speaker A

because you don't realize you actually value that rather than just companionship. Does that make sense?

27:37

Speaker A

Yes.

27:47

Speaker A

Right. We each have a story of who we are and that story is always shifting depending upon uh who we're with. and how we feel about ourselves and the ability to own that story. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Spring

28:04

Speaker A

But you have more control over how you respond to it.

28:18

Speaker A

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28:24

Speaker A

Okay.

28:44

Speaker A

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28:52

Speaker A

So, I want to make sure I understand this, because I would have thought it was the opposite.

29:02

Speaker A

Great. So, you need to understand that you can do little experiments every day. Okay?

29:08

Speaker A

When I hear the word "lucky," I think of things that happen by chance, things that happen out of the blue, things that happen to certain people that don't happen to me.

29:16

Speaker A

Okay? Now, let me ask you now. Yes. And please call me Tina. Okay. Sorry, I keep calling you Dr.

29:22

Speaker A

But when you say there's a big difference between fortune, which to me sounds like the things that you said you don't have control over, but there's a huge group of things that are either positive things of fortune or things that feel unfortunate that are not your fault, you can't change it, but you want us to focus on creating more luck and making things go our way, which is in our control.

29:36

Speaker A

I should have said depends. I know. But but you said, see, you're so smart. Okay.

29:41

Speaker A

Absolutely.

29:45

Speaker A

Exactly. But think about the a hot air balloon just going throwing caution to the wind.

29:50

Speaker A

That's a completely different version of luck than I thought.

29:54

Speaker A

This is the riskometer that we use in our classes where students map their risk profile.

30:02

Speaker A

Well, it's really important.

30:15

Speaker A

with in life. I want you to think whether you have a high or low tolerance because you're ranking at 0 to 10 and all she has is a circle and there are six different points on it. And she's

30:27

Speaker A

It's critically important to distinguish between the things that happen to you and how you respond.

30:38

Speaker A

Exactly. Exactly. And to figure out what type of risks you're comfortable taking and where you want to stretch.

30:44

Speaker A

I mean, there's this fabulous, very famous quote by Victor Frankl about the fact that the world is happening to you, and you have this time between stimulus and response where you get to decide how to respond.

30:57

Speaker A

together. Okay. So, I think you and I are actually pretty similar. Yes. So, physical risk, you are where would you be on a scale of 1 to 10?

31:05

Speaker A

And that's where luck comes in.

31:18

Speaker A

Like my husband and my son, [snorts] you know, I'm just like, can we please bring it down from like a nine to a five?

31:26

Speaker A

It comes in by taking the time to think about how you actually engage with the world.

31:36

Speaker A

like cycling down the road at 40 miles an hour? At least he wears a helmet.

31:40

Speaker A

We are in a constant dance with the world, where we are either leading or we're following.

31:51

Speaker A

Great. How about you? I'm very high. I mean, I'm happy to tell you that I love you. Oh, I love you too.

31:57

Speaker A

And there are times in which the world is leading, right?

32:07

Speaker A

It feels vulnerable to tell someone how you feel. You know that maybe you feel anxious or maybe you feel scared or maybe you feel, you know, maybe you really like someone and you're afraid to tell them.

32:18

Speaker A

The pandemic happened, and our world's all turned upside down.

32:24

Speaker A

Yeah. Um um I always feel that you tell people things and you get data, right?

32:30

Speaker A

But then you get to decide what you're going to do with it.

32:36

Speaker A

Being willing to get up and give a toast at a wedding, giving a talk, talking in a meeting at work.

32:41

Speaker A

I've never thought about luck this way.

32:47

Speaker A

You're going to get out there and do something very public. I'll tell you. So the sort of things where I am giving a toast or I'm talking in a meeting or certainly because I've developed the skill of giving speeches

33:03

Speaker A

I have always thought about luck as just something that kind of happens to you, or, you know, if you're unlucky, that happens to you too.

33:22

Speaker A

myself out there in terms of a beautiful dress and look at me and I would say I was about a two.

33:29

Speaker A

And so, really thinking about the fact that yes, there are lots of things that happen that are unfair, and yes, there are very real problems, and that is true and unfortunate, and we can take the science of creating your own luck, if you will, and use it to respond in a different way.

33:34

Speaker A

No. But if you had done it two, three, four times it would have been natural.

33:40

Speaker A

Exactly.

33:52

Speaker A

You started as a two, but the next time you do it, you'll be a four, and then you'll be a six.

33:56

Speaker A

And I am so excited to share the things that people can do to unlock luck in their lives.

34:03

Speaker A

Okay. For the next time, you'll be Well, there is next [laughter] time. So, okay, let's talk about uh financial risk.

34:09

Speaker A

All right.

34:20

Speaker A

money, racking up the credit cards, maxing out the home equity line, living in some sort of fantasy like somehow I'm just going to get lucky and even though I'm making all these dumbass decisions, this is going to somehow to all like I

34:34

Speaker A

I want to read to you from your best-selling book, \*What I Wish I Knew About Luck\*.

34:42

Speaker A

I can look backwards and see how my decisions created a situation where I was very unlucky.

34:51

Speaker A

This is on page six.

35:08

Speaker A

Exactly. So I I have to say I have to assume you take some financial risk because your business you have to be your we're we're like we are I'm I I I don't want to I don't ever want to be in a

35:19

Speaker A

Luck requires taking a chance, a calculated risk.

35:34

Speaker A

very very like riskadverse when we think about the implications of what we say yes and no to.

35:42

Speaker A

It begins the moment you decide to act in the face of uncertainty.

35:56

Speaker A

jumping out of the airplane, they're going to make sure the parachute is is packed properly. Yes. So, you know, it's really it's it's very interesting that the more prepared you are, it doesn't feel like a big risk, right? You have

36:10

Speaker A

Whether it's throwing your hat into the ring for a competitive opportunity, moving to a distant city without a clear plan, or simply introducing yourself to someone new, each action is a leap of faith beyond the familiar.

36:22

Speaker A

And scaling really slowly so that it doesn't feel like it's a financial risk. Great. And the next one's intellectual.

36:28

Speaker A

These moments may seem small, but they're pivotal, creating openings to capture lucky opportunities.

36:38

Speaker A

I'm I I don't even consider I'm so intellectually curious. It's a 10. Let me ask you about intellectual risk. What are some everyday examples of what intellectual risk looks like in your life?

36:48

Speaker A

What does that mean?

37:01

Speaker A

opportunity. The bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. And that's a real entrepreneurial mindset.

37:07

Speaker A

Every decision you make opens the door to something brand new.

37:13

Speaker A

So taking a risk means instead of feeling like life is running you over or there are no opportunities or nothing's going to ever work out, it would be an intellectual risk to say, "Well, maybe there's something I can do here." Well,

37:27

Speaker A

We are always one decision away from a completely different life.

37:39

Speaker A

an envelope with $5 in it. And I said, "You can brainstorm as long as you want, but as soon as you open this envelope, you have two hours to make as much money as possible.

37:50

Speaker A

I think about this all the time.

37:59

Speaker A

Okay. Now, there were the people I knew you could do something. I could have a lemonade stand or a car wash or do something small. And there were the groups that did that.

38:07

Speaker A

You know, some of the closest friends I have made in my life are people who were standing next to me in line, who I started a conversation with, and we found that we had something in common.

38:18

Speaker A

of campus. And they made $200, you know, because and halfway through they said, "Hey, let's not charge people. let's just ask for donations and people paid them more.

38:27

Speaker A

Or they made reservations at restaurants in PaloAlto and as the you know with long lines and as the reservation came up they sold the reservations.

38:37

Speaker A

Oh people waiting in line waiting people the line. Yeah. So um but then there were the people who said you know what the $5 the two hours was a red herring the $5 was a red herring maybe my three minute

38:51

Speaker A

presentation class is where the value is and they sold it for $650. What do you mean to a company who wanted to recruit the students in the class?

39:01

Speaker A

Oh my gosh. So they took their slot where they were going to present their findings and they called a company and said, "Do you want to come and pitch a Stanford design class?" Exactly. And the reason I call this an

39:14

Speaker A

intellectual risk is they had to like be creative, right? They had to come up with creative solutions. What do I do when I have nothing? And this is also tied to luck because guess what?

39:23

Speaker A

Opportunities are everywhere. Most people think, "Oh, I don't have any money." But these students created all this value with nothing. looking around and seeing the problems that were around them and figuring out how they could come up with solutions.

39:37

Speaker A

Why does taking risks, whether it's a small financial risk or it's a small social risk or it's a small physical risk, small intellectual risk to put yourself out there, why does that create luck?

39:53

Speaker A

Oftenimes it's because you get yourself out of your comfort zone. There are such great examples. Uh let me tell you a story that sort of encapsulates a number of these principles.

40:08

Speaker A

There was a young man who reached out to me a few months ago. Maybe actually maybe it's about a year ago. Young man, his name is Oliver and he reached out to me after he watched my TED talk on luck

40:18

Speaker A

and he said, "You know what? I really resonate with all of this and I want to become a luck coach." Okay.

40:24

Speaker A

I said, "A luck coach? That sounds like a great idea." Uh, and he said, "Could I just have five minutes of your time? I just want to talk to you." And I said, "I would be delighted." So, I set up a

40:36

Speaker A

time to talk to him and we had a really nice chat. By the way, you could either look at that one moment and say, "Well, he was really lucky that you said yes. He was really lucky that it was you and not

40:49

Speaker A

some keragin professor." But I think your point is if he hadn't taken the risk to ask for the meeting, it never would have happened. And so he's creating the luck just to kind of get you to understand cuz most people

41:05

Speaker A

think, "Oh, I should reach out to Tina." And then you go, "But she's so busy and she's not going to have time and I don't want to be a burden and what do I actually say with the email and da da da

41:15

Speaker A

da da da." So you talk yourself out of doing the thing that could actually create the luck that you want.

41:22

Speaker A

Exactly. And it could have been that I didn't respond. Right. Because there are so many examples where you have to send a letter to 500 people before you end up getting a couple people who respond to you.

41:31

Speaker A

Of course. But here's the thing. I did respond. I was intrigued. I had just started working on this book.

41:38

Speaker A

And I said, "Oh, that's interesting. A look, coach. Let me find out what he's doing." And he told me. And I spent literally 5 10 minutes on the phone with him. And this is important. He asked for a fiveminute favor. A very small thing

41:52

Speaker A

that was going to be an easy thing. He made himself easy to help. Just five minutes of your time. So afterwards, what did he do? He sent me a thank you note. Now, do you know how many people do not send thank you notes?

42:06

Speaker A

It is the most amazing thing when someone does something for you. It is a huge missed opportunity if you do not send a thank you note. So he did the right thing. He sent a thank you note. But he didn't stop there.

42:22

Speaker A

He sent me a long list. He sent me a document with all these ways he could help me. He said, "I understand, you know, you're writing a book on luck.

42:28

Speaker A

Here are different ways I can help you." I was so intrigued. Now, nothing that he listed was exactly what I wanted, but I thought, "Oh, this guy, he really took the initiative here, and I hired him as a research assistant

42:44

Speaker A

for the book." Now, I had never ever used a research assistant for any of my books ever. So, this was But I thought, you know, I think he might be able to help me. So, I hired him as a research

42:54

Speaker A

assistant. Over the next months, I got to know him and our calls. There's a whole chapter in the book about him.

43:04

Speaker A

Now, this all started with him asking for a five minute favor. I love the thank you note example. Do you know what I love about the way you're teaching us this is the risk assessment that you do on yourself

43:18

Speaker A

reveals the things that you value and how your actions are probably holding you back. And that's a core part of really building the sailboat of who you are. And the second part was the crew.

43:30

Speaker A

So, how do you build the crew? Exactly. Exactly. know asking for what you want but also helping other people.

43:36

Speaker A

The more you help other people, it comes back in wave upon wave upon wave. It's really important to understand that the more you give to other people, the more comes back to you. And I I can tell you

43:50

Speaker A

so many examples because when I talk to people about what makes them lucky, you start realizing that one of their key characteristics is their generosity.

43:59

Speaker A

Their generosity to others. you know, how can I help you? How can I help you?

44:04

Speaker A

Seeing someone as a problem and helping them, it comes back. Oftentimes when you help somebody in a little way, it was so meaningful you might even forgotten you did it. The resulting feedback you get, the resulting impact is so much more.

44:24

Speaker A

Why does helping other people make you luckier? Because so many so few people do it.

44:30

Speaker A

[laughter] So many people are just you know thinking about themselves. I have a great example of a fellow named Near Ayal who when he was younger he was selling solar panels and he was going back door to door to door to door to

44:46

Speaker A

door selling solar panels and there were so many people who didn't really want solar panels and they go but I do want to save energy. I'd really I'm looking for a heat pump. Well he noticed that someone else in the neighborhood

44:57

Speaker A

was putting in heat pumps. He didn't know this guy at all, but he said, "You know, I saw this other guy is putting in heat pumps, doing a really good job." And started recommending him. Well, this guy found out. He said, "Wow, you're

45:08

Speaker A

recommending me. I don't even know who you are." He said, "Well, I saw you were doing a good job on heat pumps." And guess what? This guy started recommending him for solar panels. And his business boomed. And it came from

45:19

Speaker A

just being generous in recommending someone else. Do you have another example, Tina, of something that I could do today that would also help me experience this? There's so many things you can do to show appreciation to others. One of the biggest gifts you can

45:36

Speaker A

give someone is to introduce them to someone else. And the warmer and the more positive the introduction, the more powerful it is as a gift. It it's one of the things that we so um often miss that opportunity.

45:53

Speaker A

But when you introduce someone to someone else in a really warm and wonderful way, you've not only created a great opportunity for them, but I can promise you it comes back to you in many ways because people are so incredibly

46:06

Speaker A

grateful to have had that generous introduction. You know, another thing that I just thought of, and you'll have to tell me if this is an example, is if I'm standing in a line or if I'm ordering coffee at a coffee shop, I always

46:20

Speaker A

compliment something that the person's wearing or their nails or their haircut or their smile and it always opens up both this like positive energy exchange.

46:33

Speaker A

I agree with you totally. In fact, I think it's it's one of the best things you can do is like say, "I love that color on you." Or, you know, or, "Wow, you know, your hair cut. Did you Did you

46:45

Speaker A

get a cut?" And honestly, well, I mean, I see with strangers, I'm like, "I love your nails." Or, "You have the best smile." And people just light up.

46:52

Speaker A

I I agree with you, but it's should be authentic. It's not as It's not that you're doing it to be manipulative. It's like really, you do love their nails or their haircut or the purple sweater.

47:04

Speaker A

Yes. Yes. Exactly. But I also h I experience something coming alive and the energy shifting with a stranger while I'm standing in line and I feel that just that simple thing. Try it today. If you're standing in a line, see something

47:23

Speaker A

authentically about the person in front of you or behind you and give them a compliment. And I if you make this a habit, you'll start to have the doors of luck open up for you. Before I had a

47:35

Speaker A

podcast and I was depressed in a new town and I had no friends, I forced myself to stir the pot cuz I realized after 6 months of sitting alone as a 53-year-old woman with no friends in the middle of nowhere, cuz we've just moved

47:49

Speaker A

after living somewhere for 26 years, feeling sorry for myself. funny that didn't make friends fall out of the sky, but I still like licked my wounds and felt sorry for myself and I'm so unlucky because now I've moved and I don't have

48:01

Speaker A

friends and I started changing my luck by forcing myself to get out of the house and going to a coffee shop, complimenting the person making the coffee, making myself remember their name, going back the next day, saying their name,

48:19

Speaker A

complimenting something else, making small uh small talk, one move day after day after day and slowly I made my own luck. I met friends. I built a community. I now walk into that coffee shop. I probably get more free

48:38

Speaker A

croissants than anybody [laughter] else because not that I'm lucky, I created the opportunity for what I actually wanted, which was community and friendship. What is the third thing that we need to do to catch the winds of luck?

48:55

Speaker A

Great. So the first was building your ship, right? This is all the internal stuff and the internal things like your values, the story you tell about yourself, your risk profile, your goals.

49:06

Speaker A

Then the second part is recruiting your crew. Right? I like to say luck seldoms sales solo, right? Luck is usually comes as a result of your engagement with other people. And so this is asking for what you want, helping others, showing

49:23

Speaker A

appreciation, all sorts of things that allow you to build your team. The third is based on the quote that we hear all the time, the harder I work, the luckier I get. Have you ever heard that?

49:38

Speaker A

Of course, it's true. Okay. But but but there's a missing part there. Just as fortune favors prepared mind, you know, need to know what a prepared mind is. The harder the I work, the luckier I get. You need to know what

49:52

Speaker A

that hard work is. That's true. Okay. You need to know what it is. It It's easy to say that. I have had a debate for decades with my father about this.

50:02

Speaker A

Actually, I I agree because I've worked very hard spinning in place. So, I I'm excited for you to unpack that there's a certain type of hard work.

50:13

Speaker A

There's so much there's so much you can do and so much has to do with taking some risks, stirring the pot, you know, introducing yourself to the person standing next to you in line for coffee.

50:24

Speaker A

Um, stretching beyond your comfort zone. One of the other ones that I loved is that you need to quote capture luck.

50:34

Speaker A

that luck favors those who ask questions. Why does asking questions increase your chance for luck?

50:43

Speaker A

Great. This is chapter 14 of your book. One of the biggest tools we have for capturing luck is being curious. And boy, you are so curious, right? And it really leads [laughter] to a lot of luck because you ask lots of questions. And

51:00

Speaker A

the more questions you ask, the more curious you are, the more you learn. I always like to tell my students that before something's your passion, it's something you know nothing about.

51:12

Speaker A

And this is really important. People want to sit around and say, "Oh, I need to find my passions." Well, what a crazy thing. Go out and do things. Be curious.

51:20

Speaker A

Try lots of things. Keep what works. The more curious you can be, the more questions you can ask and the better listener you are, the better you, as you know, the more you meet people and listen and learn from them,

51:36

Speaker A

you are going to walk away with things that you never knew before and opportunities that will present themselves that you never even imagined.

51:44

Speaker A

Well, I I love that we keep coming back to this framework that's reminding me, and I'm sure it's reminding you as you're listening or watching, that this research and this framework that you're teaching us about luck and becoming a

51:58

Speaker A

luckier person is really about intentionally making decisions to put yourself in a position to have the things that you want. Because I think, you know, common sense tells you if you want to meet the love of your life, you're probably not going to do it

52:19

Speaker A

sitting alone on your couch binge watching television. Exactly. And yet when And then you can sit there and just, well, I'm just really unlucky in love and I've just met the wrong people. And that may be true about your past, but that doesn't have

52:33

Speaker A

to be true about your future. And there are specific things that you're teaching us to do that can make you one of the lucky ones to meet that person at the bar in your pajamas, but it's going to

52:45

Speaker A

require something of you. Exactly. We each have more agency than we may think. And there are so many levers at our disposal. You know, there are like 20 different things you can do every single day. Whether it's, you know, asking for

53:00

Speaker A

what you want, helping others, showing appreciation, taking some risks, learning to be more resilient, on and on and on, right? Resolving conflicts. But there's something very, very important to keep in mind.

53:13

Speaker A

Luck is a long game. Luck is like investing money. You start out putting little deposits and it compounds over time.

53:26

Speaker A

You need to trust the process that the more deposits you make by doing these things that increase the possibility of good things happening that they do. But I see people all the time walk right by opportunities. This is why I wrote this

53:44

Speaker A

book is because I see so many people, it's like their gold coins sitting there and I see them walk by it. You have to have a mindset that there's a prize in every room. It's up to you to find it.

53:56

Speaker A

Yes. And with that mindset, you find it. It's like the $5 project, right? you know, oh, not everybody is sitting there saying, I should set up a a bike tire pressure monitor in the middle of campus, but once you were given the

54:09

Speaker A

challenge, create some value, people did, you know, of all the tools that you're sharing, which you know, as you're listening, and I'm you're probably just like me as you're listening to uh Tina Dr. Celig talk, you're probably like, "Okay, I could do

54:27

Speaker A

I could take a risk. I could see I I I get it. I see how like sitting back, staying silent, hoping somebody finds me, not asking for what I want, not stirring the pot, not getting out of my

54:39

Speaker A

house. I can see how I need to shift things. But if you're listening and you're feeling skeptical, maybe you're feeling a little beaten up by life, what do you want the person to know about how this truly makes a difference

54:57

Speaker A

over time? Yes, it is critically important to realize that the choices you make today determine the choices you are going to have in the future. You know, if somebody feels really unlucky right now, what's the first thing they

55:13

Speaker A

should do this week? I would say if you were going to pick one thing, yes, do something to stir the soup. Do something to add something new to your life. Remember, we are all one decision away from a completely different life.

55:33

Speaker A

Apply for the job. Introduce yourself to the person in line. Do something to stir the soup to open the door to something new.

55:43

Speaker A

Dr. Tina Seelig, what are your parting words? I wish everyone the very very best of luck.

55:52

Speaker A

And I know I know that the choices you make today are going to be reflected over and over again in waves and waves of good luck into the future.

56:04

Speaker A

Thank you so much for being here. I love you. I appreciate you. I'm so grateful you're doing all this research for all of us. And there's no doubt in my mind that if you apply this, you will be

56:17

Speaker A

luckier. Thank you so much. Well, thank you. And I also want to thank you. And I want to point something out and I bet that Tina is going to say, "Mel, that's right. The fact that you hit play on this episode,

56:32

Speaker A

especially if somebody shared this episode with you, the fact that you stirred the pot in your own life, you took a risk and hit play and you spent time watching or listening all the way to the end is an example of what you are

56:48

Speaker A

talking about, Tina, that you took an action aligned with something that you want, which is you do want to be luckier in life. You do want life to break in your direction. You do want to open up the sail and capture the winds of

57:02

Speaker A

opportunity. And I'm grateful that you spent the time listening and watching something that is really going to help you do that. And in case no one else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you

57:15

Speaker A

and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.

57:19

Speaker A

And if you follow the formula that Dr. Seig shared with us today. There is no doubt in my mind that you will create a better life because you're going to be a lot luckier cuz you will have created

57:33

Speaker A

it. All right, I will see you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play. And thank you for watching all the way to the end.

57:41

Speaker A

Didn't you love this? I hope you're generous sharing this episode [music] with people that you love so that they can learn all of this research and apply it to their life to create more luck. We all deserve that. And one more thing I

57:54

Speaker A

wanted to ask you, if that subscribe button is lit up, would you please subscribe? It is free. It is the number one way that you can tell me and the team here at the Mel Robbins Podcast that you love what we are doing.

58:07

Speaker A

Remember, Dr. Celig said, "You got to ask for what you want." So, I'm asking you for what I want. I want you to be a subscriber. That way, you don't miss a thing. And it's how we know that you are

58:16

Speaker A

loving all of the worldrenowned experts that we bring you here on YouTube. All righty. [music] I know you're thinking, "Thank you, by the way, for doing that.

58:24

Speaker A

Mel, what's the next video I should watch? I'm loving this." You definitely want to check out this one. [music] And I will welcome you in the moment you hit play.

Topics: luck Tina Seelig Mel Robbins podcast personal development calculated risk gratitude curiosity agency Stanford self-improvement

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