**reading my unique common app essay! (IVY LEAGUE & MORE) — Transcript & Summary | SozAI**
Source: https://sozai.app/transcript/reading-my-unique-common-app-essay-ivy-league/

Mariah reads her unique Common App essay about wanting to be like the ocean, tracing her journey from childhood racial exclusion to embracing her natural curls, and explains why she submitted it despi

## Key Takeaways

- Unconventional college essays can succeed when they reflect an authentic personal voice.
- Open-ended prompts give applicants wide creative freedom, but a unique approach carries risk.
- Writing about racial identity and self-acceptance can be a powerful way to show personal growth.
- Advice from others should be weighed against one's own instincts about what represents them best.

## What the video covers

- Mariah introduces herself as a new YouTube creator, sharing college application advice after being admitted to UC Berkeley and other top schools.
- She explains that many people advised her not to submit her unconventional Common App essay, but she submitted it anyway because she liked it.
- The Common App essay is a 650-word essay; Mariah used 626 words and chose the open-ended 'any topic' prompt.
- The essay uses the ocean as a central metaphor, framing the question 'What do you want to be?' with 'I want to be like the ocean.'
- The essay recounts a childhood memory at age three when she felt excluded from peers at preschool because of her skin color and curly hair.
- She describes straightening her hair from second grade onward to fit in, which damaged her biracial curls linked to African-American and Filipino heritage.
- The summer before high school, she cut off burned ends and began embracing her natural curls, experimenting with gels and creams and styles once called 'too black.'
- The essay concludes with the idea of chasing forward like the waves, eager to experience and grow.
- Mariah reads the essay on camera and reflects that she straightened her hair for her graduation that day, noting she has grown in managing her identity.
- The video is the first in a planned series on college application takeaways.

## Chapters

1. 00:00 Introduction and Channel Welcome
2. 00:47 Why Mariah Submitted an Unconventional Essay
3. 01:30 Explaining the Common App Essay Format
4. 02:30 Reading the Essay: Wanting to Be Like the Ocean
5. 03:52 Childhood Exclusion and Early Feelings of Separation
6. 04:52 Straightened Hair, Identity, and Embracing Natural Curls
7. 06:15 Reflecting on the Essay and Closing Thoughts

Answers

## Questions about this video

Why did Mariah choose the open-ended essay prompt?

She chose the 'any topic' prompt because it allowed her to take any direction she wanted. She had no specific prompt to follow and simply developed a theme in her head and began writing.

What is the central metaphor of Mariah's essay?

The essay uses the ocean as its central metaphor, with each section ending on 'I want to be ... like the ocean,' describing qualities like strength, beauty, and expansiveness. It frames her personal growth around the ocean's qualities.

What personal experience does the essay describe?

The essay describes feeling excluded by peers at age three because of her skin color and curly hair, then straightening her hair for years to fit in. It recounts her eventual decision in the summer before high school to embrace her natural curls.

## Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

00:05

Speaker A

okay welcome to the channel guys my name is Mariah this is probably gonna be my first YouTube video on here I don't know why I'm making YouTube videos, to be honest, but the college app process, it's really confusing. We all want to get into our dream colleges. Technically, since I just completed the whole process, I'll be going to UC Berkeley in the fall. I wanted to make videos on what helped me during my college process and some takeaways that I got. You guys should know many people told me not to submit this essay. This first video will only be focusing on me reading my common app essay, and I wanted to do this because you really can take any direction you want with this essay.

00:20

Speaker A

Dream colleges technically since I just completed the whole process I'll be going to UC Berkeley in the fall I wanted to make videos on what helped me during my college process and some takeaways that I got you guys should

00:33

Speaker A

Um, many, many people told me not to submit it. Listen, they said, "Don't do this." I say it's too unique, it's too different, it's not what they're looking for. They're telling me all type of stuff like that, and in some cases I probably should have listened a little bit, but I didn't. I submitted it anyways because I like what I wrote. I thought it spoke to me, and it might not have been the traditional Common App essay, but for whatever reason it got me into an Ivy League school. It got me into USC. It got me into really good universities.

00:47

Speaker A

um many many people told me not to submit it listen they said don't do this I say it's too unique it's too different it's not what they're looking for they're telling me all type of stuff like that and in some cases I probably should have

01:01

Speaker A

So for those of you that don't exactly quite know what a Common App essay is, it's a 650-word essay. There's six different prompts. I want to think one of the prompts is just "reflect on anything," so you really have a lot of creative freedom with this essay. You can send it to many colleges through your Common App account, and many colleges take it, except like UCs or certain schools that have their own essay. I used 626 words out of 650, so I was under the word count. I had no prompt, no direction. I just thought of a theme in my head and how it related to me, and just started writing. And sometimes that's the best place to start.

01:15

Speaker A

League school it got me into USC it got me into really good universities so so for those of you that don't exactly quite know what a common app essay is it's a 650 word essay there's six different problems I want to think one

01:30

Speaker A

Okay. The prompt I chose was, like I said, the prompt where you can basically write about anything. It says, "Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you have already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design." What do you want to be? It is the most daunting question someone can ask people my age, one that confuses most, but is not nearly as perplexing as my answer. I want to be like the ocean. I've always admired it. Each summer, around the 4th of July, my family flies down to San Diego to see my cousins, my titos and titas, and my Lola. A trip to La Jolla Beach is mandatory, and as my younger cousin's boogie boards over waves and my brothers blow up sand castles that disappear under the tide, I nestle into the sand, gazing upon the ocean. The aqua blue waves grow larger as they approach the golden brown shore. In an instant, gravity draws the waves back down, crashing onto the sand, enveloping everything in its path, gentle but powerful. I want to be strong like the ocean.

01:46

Speaker A

essay I use 626 words out of 650. so I was under the word count I had no prompt no direction I just like thought of a theme in my head and how it related to me and just started writing and sometimes

01:59

Speaker A

Preschool was nothing like I thought it would be. I imagined myself meeting other little girls who loved playing with American Girl dolls and having my very own cubby for my purple backpack, but the darkness of my skin and the curls in my hair separated me from the light-complected girls I wanted to be friends with and the straight-haired girls that I longed to look like. I had been excluded from the games of hide and seek, so I began to play by myself, stranded on an island of exclusion, holding back waves of tears as I overheard the snickers of the other children. This is the first time I can remember feeling separated by my race. I was three years old. I want to be beautiful like the ocean.

02:12

Speaker A

responds to a different prompt or one of your own design what do you want to be it is the most daunting question someone can ask people my age one that confuses most but is not nearly as perplexing as my answer I want

02:25

Speaker A

Second grade, the first time I had straightened my frizzy curls, when I looked up at the mirror I fell in love with the straight hair that met my eyes. I finally looked like the other girls at my school, so for years straightening my hair would become mandatory in my daily routine. By the age of 14, my natural curls were no longer lively and voluminous like the vast ocean, but dry and brittle like the Mojave. While trying to fit in, I was damaging the biracial curls that linked me to generations of African-American and Filipino descent, hiding them behind the tide of assimilation. I want to be expansive like the ocean.

02:37

Speaker A

and as my younger cousin's boogie board over waves and my brothers blowed up sand castles that disappear under the tide I Nestle into the sand gazing upon the ocean the aqua blue Raves grow larger as they approach the golden brown Shore in an

02:52

Speaker A

The summer before high school, I chopped off the ends that had been burned by my straightener and began my journey towards loving my natural self. I grew tired of fearing the waves of negativity that crashed into my shores if I dared to wear my natural hair in a curly Afro. I needed to let go of my fear of standing out, to be strong enough to drown out those hateful words and to illustrate the beauty of expressing my racial identity. Determined to embrace my natural curls, I began to get creative and experiment with gels and curly creams. My natural curls began to form and take on the shape of a large cloud. I began to slick my edges down and make swoops and swirls, big and small styles that I was told were "too black," now made me feel beautiful and strong. The confidence I now had in the curls that hung below my shoulders and the melanin in my skin was the evidence that I was finally emulating the lessons of the ocean.

03:07

Speaker A

girls who loved playing with American Girl dolls and having my very own cubby for my purple backpack but the darkness of my skin and the curls in my hair separate me from the light complected girls I wanted to be friends with and

03:19

Speaker A

Above the water, darkness has conquered the sky and exists in harmony with the stars, yet the children continue to dig their feet through the sand and chase the ocean as they run towards the vast water. The ocean chases back without hesitation, without weakness. As I go through life, I will chase outwards like the waves, eager to experience, willing to fail, and determined to grow. Maybe I'm already like the ocean. Perhaps I always have been.

03:32

Speaker A

children this is the first time I can remember feeling separated by my race I was three years old I want to be beautiful like the ocean second grade the first time I had straightened my frizzy curls when I looked up at the

03:47

Speaker A

So that's my Common App essay. It's kind of awkward that I have straight hair right now. I was reading the essay that explains how I had to stop straining my hair and love my natural self. I have to straighten it for graduation, which is today. I had it straightened like my whole childhood. Growing up is what the essay was about. Now I'm better at, you know, managing that, I guess. As you can see, and as you start reading other people's essays, you'll see that mine took a very different turn. I kind of pieced together different parts, and it was more like a poem when I just filtered little bits of my childhood in between, all centered around a theme. And if you take away anything from this video, make sure you have a theme. It's mandatory in these essays that there's something beyond just telling a story, and that in the 650 words, 350 words, 200 words, however long your essay can be, the admissions officer that's reading it can get a glimpse of who you are, not just what you've been through. I hope you guys enjoy it and are looking forward to more videos for my college series. Bye.

04:00

Speaker A

no longer Lively and voluminous like the vast ocean but dry and brittle like the Mojave while trying to fit in I was damaging the biracial curls that linked me to generations of African-American and Filipino descent hiding them behind the tide of

04:15

Speaker A

assimilation I want to be expansive like the ocean the summer before high school I chopped off the ends that had been burned for my straightener and began my journey towards loving my natural self I grew tired of fearing the waves of

04:28

Speaker A

negativity that crashed into my Shores if I dared to wear my natural hair in a curly Afro I needed to let go of my fear of standing out to be strong enough to drown out those hateful words and to

04:39

Speaker A

illustrate the beauty of expressing my racial identity determined to embrace my natural curls I began to get creative and experiment with gels and curly creams my natural curls began to form and take on the shape of a large cloud I began to

04:53

Speaker A

Slick my edges down and swoops and swirls big and small styles that I was told were too black now made me feel beautiful and strong the confidence I now had in the curls that hung below my shoulders and the

05:05

Speaker A

melanin in my skin was the evidence that I was finally emulating the lessons of the ocean above the water Darkness has conquered the sky and exists in harmony with the Stars yet the children continue to draw their feet through the sand and Chase

05:19

Speaker A

the ocean as they run towards the vast water the ocean chases back without hesitation without weakness as I go through life I will chase outwards like the waves eager to experience willing to fail and determined to grow maybe I'm already like the ocean

05:37

Speaker A

perhaps I always have been so that's my common up essay it's kind of awkward that I have straight hair right now I was reading the essay that explains how I had to stop straining my hair and love my

05:50

Speaker A

natural self I I have to straightener for graduation is today I had it straightened like my whole childhood growing up is what the essay was about now I'm better at you know managing that I guess as you can see and

06:07

Speaker A

as you start reading other people's essays you'll see that mine took a very different turn I kind of like piece in together different parts and it was more like a poem when I just filtered little bits in my

06:21

Speaker A

childhood in between all centered around a theme and if you take away anything from this video make sure you have a theme it's mandatory in these essays that there's something Beyond just telling a story and that in the 650 words 350

06:40

Speaker A

words 200 words however long your essay can be that the admissions officer that's reading it can get a glimpse of who you are not just what you've been through I hope you guys enjoy it and are looking forward to more videos for my college

06:56

Speaker A

series bye

Topics: Common App essay college admissions personal statement ocean metaphor natural hair racial identity Ivy League admissions college application advice UC Berkeley Mariah Monte

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