**How to DM A Girl on Instagram (Full Guide + Text Breakdown) — Transcript & Summary | SozAI**
Source: https://sozai.app/transcript/dm-girl-instagram-guide-text-breakdown/

Learn how to DM a girl on Instagram effectively with Benjamin Seda's full guide on opening lines, managing connections, and maximizing dating success.

## Key Takeaways

- Instagram is a powerful dating tool especially for successful men to manage and nurture leads.
- Consolidating all dating contacts on Instagram simplifies follow-up and increases success.
- Personalized and context-aware opening messages perform best in DM conversations.
- Consistent engagement through stories and posts helps maintain interest over time.
- Dating should be efficient, enjoyable, and aligned with your overall lifestyle.

## What the video covers

- Benjamin Seda explains why Instagram is the best and most underrated dating app for successful men.
- The video covers how to efficiently manage multiple dating leads by consolidating them on Instagram.
- Different DM scenarios are discussed based on how you know the girl: through friends, Instagram discovery, or mutual following.
- The importance of context and personalized opening lines for DMing is emphasized.
- Benjamin highlights the value of Instagram stories and posts to stay top of mind and nurture connections.
- He compares dating follow-up to sales, stressing persistence and gradual value building.
- The guide advises against being overly gamey or gimmicky, promoting natural and authentic interactions.
- Tips are given for transitioning from initial DM to date invitations smoothly.
- The video stresses efficiency and simplicity in managing dating life alongside a busy professional lifestyle.
- Benjamin encourages viewers to make their dating life as dialed in as their finances and career.

## Chapters

1. 00:00 Introduction and Importance of Instagram DMs
2. 01:27 Why Move Connections to Instagram
3. 02:31 Managing Multiple Dating Leads Efficiently
4. 03:46 Building Value Through Instagram Content
5. 04:52 The Joy and Value of Dating
6. 05:55 Examples of DM Conversations and Follow-Up
7. 07:08 Three Scenarios for DMing Girls on Instagram
8. 10:26 Naturalness and Authenticity in Messaging
9. 11:58 Nurturing Leads and Consistent Engagement
10. 17:20 Final Advice for Successful Dating on Instagram

Answers

## Questions about this video

Why is Instagram considered the best dating app according to Benjamin Seda?

Instagram is considered the best dating app because it allows successful men to efficiently manage all their dating leads in one place, engage consistently through stories and posts, and build value gradually, making dating more effective and less time-consuming.

What are the three main scenarios for DMing a girl on Instagram?

The three main scenarios are: DMing a girl you know through a friend of a friend, DMing a girl you found on Instagram through mutuals or discovery, and DMing a girl you already follow or who follows you, each requiring a different approach based on context.

How should one approach opening lines when DMing a girl on Instagram?

Opening lines should be personalized and context-specific, matching the situation in which you met or found the girl. Authenticity and naturalness are key, avoiding gimmicks or overly gamey tactics to maintain genuine interest.

## Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

00:00

Speaker A

[Music] If you want your DMs to look like this, and you want your bed to have your future wife in it, or future wives depending on what you're looking for, then keep watching this video because I'm about to give you the best opening DMs to send.

00:19

Speaker A

to send and I'm going to show you exactly how to DM a girl on Instagram aka the best dating app in the world and the most underrated tool in Your Arsenal demand them to considerate Hotel smoking cigarette mixing Cod up with a

00:33

Speaker A

I'm going to show you exactly how to DM a girl on Instagram, aka the best dating app in the world and the most underrated tool in your arsenal.

00:44

Speaker A

contexts that matter if you implement what I'm about to tell you especially if you're a richer more successful guy this will literally 10x your dating life because although Instagram is a great tool and actually the best dating app

00:56

Speaker A

Demand them to considerate hotel smoking cigarette mixing cod up with a finan. She got thick, but she want to get finegan drinking apple side of vinegar wearing skim because she want to be king them.

01:07

Speaker A

making an entire video on how to DM a girl it seems pretty straightforward but you want to understand how to DM a girl based on your specific context if you're a guy who's already kind of decent with girls or you're already doing well

01:17

Speaker A

All right, so when it comes to DMing, there's a few different reasons you're going to DM a girl, and there's a few contexts that matter.

01:27

Speaker A

know a girl through a friend of a friend you move her to Instagram why do you do that because if you have lots of girls that you're managing but you want to try and pick out and find the highest

01:34

Speaker A

If you implement what I'm about to tell you, especially if you're a richer, more successful guy, this will literally 10x your dating life because although Instagram is a great tool and actually the best dating app for guys in general, if you're richer, if you're more successful, if you're a higher value guy, you can actually get a lot more out of Instagram, which is why it's so important and why I harp on it so much.

01:45

Speaker A

going to see it which means I can stay top of mine I can keep engaging these girls and I can follow up with them and I can see their stories and their posts as a reminder of hey bro go and talk to

01:56

Speaker A

That's why I'm sitting here making an entire video on how to DM a girl. It seems pretty straightforward, but you want to understand how to DM a girl based on your specific context.

02:04

Speaker A

have time to be on seven different dating apps on top of approaching girls on top of Instagram on top of going to the club it's a mess you want things to be efficient direct and to the point because if

02:14

Speaker A

If you're a guy who's already kind of decent with girls or you're already doing well, Instagram is your management tool.

02:23

Speaker A

efficiently pick out the women that are the best fit for me that I actually would want to date seriously if you have to spend a bunch of time managing different apps it's just going to make for headache it's going to make

02:31

Speaker A

All the girls you'd like to explore connection with, you move them all into one place. You meet a girl at an NA, you move her to Instagram. You meet a girl in person, you move her to Instagram. You know a girl through a friend of a friend, you move her to Instagram.

02:42

Speaker A

you have your finances your professional your personal life dialed in if you want your dating life to be up to par with the rest of your life you need to make your dating life smooth efficient and effortless so that you actually are

02:53

Speaker A

Why do you do that? Because if you have lots of girls that you're managing but you want to try and pick out and find the highest quality girls, girls who are girlfriend material, you want to be able to explore your different options.

03:04

Speaker A

I'm making this entire video on how to DM girls on Instagram and how to do it efficiently the other benefit of having all your leads or all the girls you're pursuing in one place is that it makes it easier for you to follow up and keep

03:15

Speaker A

So the most efficient way to do that is with Instagram because if I post one story, then all the girls who follow me are going to see it, which means I can stay top of mind. I can keep engaging these girls, and I can follow up with them, and I can see their stories and their posts as a reminder of, "Hey bro, go and talk to this girl, hey DM this girl," etc.

03:26

Speaker A

in business or in sales when you're trying to sell someone on something it's very rare that they'll give you money and buy your product the first time they hear about it in the same way if you ask a girl out on a date once or on your

03:36

Speaker A

You want all of the girls and the potential relationships you're exploring in one place just to make your life simpler. You're out there, you're making money, you're conquering the world. You don't have time to be on seven different dating apps on top of approaching girls, on top of Instagram, on top of going to the club. It's a mess.

03:46

Speaker A

epic our lifestyle is she'll see our post she'll see our entire profile we can message a little bit more back and forth and over time the value that I offer as a man is going to become very apparent to her and she's going to want

03:58

Speaker A

You want things to be efficient, direct, and to the point because if you're getting a little bit of success now, once you start getting more success with girls, it's going to be a lot harder.

04:06

Speaker A

sense of where they're at what their needs are and then eventually bang when they're ready you sell them it's the same exact principle it's the same exact process now there's three scenarios in which you'll be dming a girl the context

04:15

Speaker A

Your problem isn't going to be that you can't get women anymore. Your problem is going to be, "I don't know how to efficiently pick out the women that are the best fit for me that I actually would want to date seriously."

04:25

Speaker A

beginner level stuff I'm just going to shoot straight with you the best opening line is the line that makes the most sense based on that specific situation and when you're dming a girl on Instagram there's likely three scenarios

04:35

Speaker A

If you have to spend a bunch of time managing different apps, it's just going to make for a headache. It's going to make for a nightmare, and it's going to make dating less enjoyable.

04:43

Speaker A

her and see if we can make something happen from there that's scenario number one number two you found her on Instagram because she popped up on your feed maybe you have some mutuals maybe you don't and you're going to have to

04:52

Speaker A

And the reason you're dating is because it's enjoyable. Building a relationship, finding connections with women is one of the most valuable things in your life, especially if you're already doing well.

05:02

Speaker A

Circle or sphere friends either way you guys already are already following each other and there's been some history there regardless of what it is but you guys are already following each other you already know her so I'll give you

05:11

Speaker A

You have your finances, your professional, your personal life dialed in. If you want your dating life to be up to par with the rest of your life, you need to make your dating life smooth, efficient, and effortless so that you actually are compelled to do it.

05:21

Speaker A

first conversation I saw this girl on hinge we didn't match but she had a profile on her bio so I said it I'm just going to go ahead and DM her I dm' her I said saw you on hinge you were too

05:28

Speaker A

Because one of the biggest reasons guys who are successful don't actually date a lot is because it feels like they can't justify the time investment in it, which is why I personally recommend Instagram and why I'm making this entire video on how to DM girls on Instagram and how to do it efficiently.

05:37

Speaker A

I don't know how I miss this but do you live in the city she says I live 30 minutes I say nice I live here do you ever go out to party in Manhattan she says here and there how about you so I

05:45

Speaker A

The other benefit of having all your leads or all the girls you're pursuing in one place is that it makes it easier for you to follow up and keep in contact with all of them and make you more likely to go on dates with the higher quality girls who may be a little bit more difficult to get out upfront.

05:55

Speaker A

it just opened up a few months ago she says yeah I'm down and boom very very simple if you're successful guy and you want help setting up your Instagram profile setting up your dating profiles and getting access to our arsenal of

06:05

Speaker A

In sales, there's a concept known as nurturing or following up, meaning that in business or in sales, when you're trying to sell someone on something, it's very rare that they'll give you money and buy your product the first time they hear about it.

06:16

Speaker A

team to see if we can potentially help you out the high Lev strategy you want to think about when you're dming a girl that you met off a dating app is that the premise is already established that this is a romantic interaction you

06:25

Speaker A

In the same way, if you ask a girl out on a date once or on your first encounter with a girl, you're not always going to be able to get her out on a date right then and there.

06:37

Speaker A

essentially it's okay to go more direct after you set that context because the whole reason we open with I saw you on the dating app and I didn't wait to match is so that our follow-up messages can be messages that are going to get us

06:49

Speaker A

However, if we can move the girl to Instagram, we'll get more touch points with her. She'll see our stories, she'll see how epic our lifestyle is, she'll see our posts, she'll see our entire profile.

06:58

Speaker A

possible because you're not know if you click with a girl and if she's worthy of being your girlfriend until you actually go on a date with her so you noce she says thank you and I immediately start getting into some Logistics and

07:08

Speaker A

We can message a little bit more back and forth, and over time, the value that I offer as a man is going to become very apparent to her, and she's going to want to be more likely to go on a date, more likely to say yes.

07:19

Speaker A

she's a little bit further out than usual I ask her if she ever comes into the city to party or to go out right because I happened to know that I was going to a club that weekend me and my

07:27

Speaker A

In the same way, in sales, you have a few conversations, you show them a few demonstrations of your product, you follow up with them to get a sense of where they're at, what their needs are, and then eventually, bang, when they're ready, you sell them.

07:36

Speaker A

established that Contex that she lives nearby and she does come into my area pretty often it seems like a pretty natural progression to invite her about the thing we just discussed now a lot of times if you're cold messaging girls on

07:47

Speaker A

It's the same exact principle. It's the same exact process.

07:56

Speaker A

bar or just some sort of group activity I can invite the girl to come and join that cuz sometimes it can feel like less pressure now it depends on what you invite her to if it's at a public place

08:05

Speaker A

Now, there's three scenarios in which you'll be DMing a girl. The context and the scenario is always going to matter.

08:16

Speaker A

you and be sold on you quite a bit to agree to that whereas if you're just inviting her to something public or you know some sort of Night Life venue or something like that it can be a little

08:25

Speaker A

There's no magical line that is going to get you 100% response rate with 100% of the girls that you DM. It doesn't exist.

08:36

Speaker A

this was something that literally took you know sending the five messages you know I spend a minute on each message it took 5 minutes to get her to agree to go out on a date and this is the exact

08:45

Speaker A

People saying that are just trying to sell you on some beginner level stuff. I'm just going to shoot straight with you.

08:54

Speaker A

now if you're the type of guy who's like I refuse to do any sort of public partying or social life partying with people I refuse to go to a b bar or club or anything like that that's totally

09:02

Speaker A

The best opening line is the line that makes the most sense based on that specific situation.

09:10

Speaker A

bit before we propose the date because if it's a one-on-one date she has to be more sold on you and you needs to build a little bit more Comfort cuz you still are a stranger to her so we would need

09:19

Speaker A

And when you're DMing a girl on Instagram, there's likely three scenarios which you're going to find yourself in.

09:28

Speaker A

twice a month with friends the benefit of that is that a lot of times it's easier to get girls out without needing to text so much back and forth you can meet her out in a public place and it's

09:36

Speaker A

Number one, you found her on a dating app but maybe you didn't match, so now you're like, "Okay, she has her Instagram in her profile. Let me just follow her, let me DM her, and see if we can make something happen from there."

09:45

Speaker A

Cadence you want to me you want to establish contacts that you saw her on a dating app and then you also want to start figuring out where she lives and what her location is because we're going to ask her where she lives and what her

09:54

Speaker A

That's scenario number one.

10:06

Speaker A

way you're going to encounter girls on Instagram is if it's a cold Dia meaning she popped up on your feed you have no idea who she is maybe you have mutuals maybe you don't so you basically just have to start a conversation from

10:15

Speaker A

Number two, you found her on Instagram because she popped up on your feed. Maybe you have some mutuals, maybe you don't, and you're going to have to just shoot her a cold DM, build rapport, and start a conversation from scratch.

10:26

Speaker A

on a romantic foot however the girl is going to know if you're dming her randomly you don't know her that it's a romantic interaction but we don't get as much initial interest but we have less context because again we have no idea if

10:38

Speaker A

And number three, you already know this girl, maybe from an app that you matched on a long time ago, you've approached her before, you know her through your social circle or sphere of friends.

10:46

Speaker A

success rate and the lowest Roi way of dming a girl on Instagram so fair warning however the way I typically like to open these interactions is by saying something along the following of I saw you on my explore page I think Instagram

10:57

Speaker A

Either way, you guys already are following each other, and there's been some history there regardless of what it is, but you guys are already following each other, you already know her.

11:06

Speaker A

her and say I think IG wants us to be friends and you I'll have some examples here on screen showing how the progression goes usually the next thing you're going to want to ask is either make a comment about her profile or her

11:16

Speaker A

So I'll give you some high-level strategies for each scenario, and I'll also give you specific conversations and examples of me actually doing it so you know I'm not bullshitting you, and you can actually go out and implement it for real.

11:28

Speaker A

girls what they do for fun or what where they go out in the city what are their favorite spots so then this way we have something to talk about and then it makes it a really easy natural progression for me to suggest a spot in

11:38

Speaker A

So in this first conversation, I saw this girl on Hinge. We didn't match, but she had a profile on her bio, so I said it, I'm just going to go ahead and DM her.

11:49

Speaker A

texting tennis match for 2 weeks 3 weeks at a time that goes nowhere the goal is to get her on a date so all of the text messages have that motivation there's no point in just saying hi Hi how are you

12:01

Speaker A

I DM'd her. I said, "Saw you on Hinge, you were too adorable," so I didn't wait till match.

12:09

Speaker A

dictate whether or not we're successful on the date because all it takes is one up in the text chain for her to just stop responding and then you're screwed now the most effective scenario you'll find yourself in for dming girls

12:20

Speaker A

She says, "Thank you, but look at you." I actually missed her message somehow just because I have so many leads on Instagram, I managed to miss it. I was just focused on other things.

12:30

Speaker A

app you talked about a date and then you got her Instagram so that you could manage the lead better or maybe this is a girl you've approached maybe a girl you've met out or maybe a friend of a

12:37

Speaker A

I said, "Haha, I don't know how I missed this, but do you live in the city?"

12:48

Speaker A

naturalness because if you put on a gimmick or the conversation feels sterile or it feels like there's too much of an agenda going on there the woman is going to sniff it from a mile away women have 10 times the social IQ

13:00

Speaker A

She says, "I live 30 minutes."

13:10

Speaker A

anything gimmicky to get girls out on dates which is why it's important that you're already a maniz his life together because if you're a guy who's smoking weed playing video games all the time and you're trying to date girls it's

13:21

Speaker A

I say, "Nice, I live here. Do you ever go out to party in Manhattan?"

13:31

Speaker A

really interested in your conversation now that doesn't mean our text messages don't have purpose a lot of times I talk to girls that I meet up with on dating apps and I'll say hey what made you want to meet up with me like why' you agree

13:41

Speaker A

She says, "Here and there, how about you?"

13:49

Speaker A

of caught my attention and caught me by surprise that how you kind of just went for the date really really fast because you didn't waste my time like most guys do most guys just say hey or how are you

13:58

Speaker A

So I move on and I say, "Yeah, I do. Me and my friends actually have a table at this club on Friday night. Have you ever been?"

14:06

Speaker A

this doesn't mean you hide your intentions it just means that you're authentic and congruent with your intentions for example I said we want all of our messages to have purpose and to be motivated so if I open a

14:15

Speaker A

She says, "No, I've never been... is it fun?"

14:25

Speaker A

however I'm not masking my intentions I'm not pretending to be nice and I'm not footing around what I really want a lot of times you're better off just being straight up indirect especially if you're a guy with this

14:33

Speaker A

I say, "Yes, you should come with. It just opened up a few months ago."

14:44

Speaker A

you've set up your profile and your photos correctly so in this first example this is a girl I matched with on a dating app we talked about going on a date and then we follow each other on Instagram to set up the date at a liter

14:53

Speaker A

She says, "Yeah, I'm down," and boom, very, very simple.

15:01

Speaker A

she was going out that night so we couldn't meet up for a date uh she tells me where she went and she says it was a super nice place then she replies to my story again she double text me she

15:10

Speaker A

If you're a successful guy and you want help setting up your Instagram profile, setting up your dating profiles, and getting ac—

15:21

Speaker A

different text conversations split amongst your mom texting you your grandma texting you your business partner texting you your accountant texting you Etc so I immediately take what she says and I say I'll wear it on our date she says

15:30

Speaker A

perfect we'll match our outfits then and then I say when are you free very very direct no need to foot no need to beat around the bush uh she says Thursday night what do you suggest very very simple lock in the date it's easy

15:41

Speaker A

now I'll give you another example here of a girl that I matched with on a dating app but I didn't actually get out on a date and I knew I couldn't get her out on a date for about a week or two so

15:49

Speaker A

we talked on the app she said she wasn't going to be free for another week or so we exchanged Instagrams and we kind of left it at that uh she had mentioned when we were texting that it was her

15:57

Speaker A

birthday so she had posted something on her story it reminded me of it so I texted her and I said it's your birthday tomorrow right she says it's on Wednesday but you're close I say I'll remember and because I was top of mind

16:07

Speaker A

for her because I replied to her story and because we had a whole little mini interaction here she was reminded of our first conversation just like in sales this is me nurturing the lead this is me doing my follow-up and then she proposes

16:18

Speaker A

we should go out soon very very simple very easy and you'll notice this is something that happens a lot you don't even need to propose the sale or propose the date with girls as long as you just stay top of Mine by replying to their

16:30

Speaker A

story or you post your own stories on Instagram it's going to be very easy for you to get dates and for girls to propose it so in this next conversation this is an interaction with a girl that I actually used to see quite regularly

16:41

Speaker A

and date quite regularly back a few years ago so I replied to her story cuz it looked like she had moved to a new place and I said where do you live now she's kind of teasing me and says None

16:49

Speaker A

of Your Business where do you live now and then she says okay then because you can see there's space in between the messages meaning that I didn't reply I read her message but I didn't reply to her I was busy uh so I send her a photo

17:00

Speaker A

showing that I was driving which is why I didn't respond to her and then I say forgot how much I miss your attitude I have a place and I tell her where I live she says oh I live nearby too where do

17:09

Speaker A

you live in the area I say haha we're neighbors she says why are you stalking me and then I jokingly say I'm coming to visit then she says let's have dinner so you'll notice she completely suggested the hangout just like the girl on the

17:20

Speaker A

last interaction all because my Instagram my stories and my profile have been building and maintaining value for me across all of these different connections I with women making it very easy for me to get consistent dates and making it very easy for me to manage all

17:35

Speaker A

of the women that I'm seeing or I'd like to potentially explore a connection with if you're trying to find a girlfriend if you're trying to find a long-term partner the most important thing is that you evaluate and explore all of your

17:45

Speaker A

options because if you choose a partner where you feel like you're settling and you're kind of just choosing the first girl who likes you back you're going to end up resenting her and you're going to end up resenting yourself for not

17:54

Speaker A

actually going out there and picking the person who's the best fit for you and it's going to take time you're going to have to explore your options you have to go on dates and meet women I'm not saying you have to sleep with a bunch of

18:02

Speaker A

girls but you should at least go on dates and get to know different types of girls to figure out what it is you want in a partner so she says let's have dinner soon I say yes she says when I

18:11

Speaker A

say Thursday night do you have the same number and boom there we go and honestly that's it it's very simple there's a lot of philosophy that goes into Instagram and why it's really important I gave you some of the tactics and I even gave you

18:21

Speaker A

some breakdowns of exactly how I run my text game you'll notice there's no magic there there's no secret formula there's no being super gamy it's just all very very very direct it's all very simplified because I am relying on my

18:33

Speaker A

value and who I am as a man which is what you should be doing as well so if you're a guy who's already rich who's already successful who's already doing well don't feel the need to be very gamey or over the top because it's going

18:43

Speaker A

to seem in congruent the girl is going to think why is he trying so hard to impress me why isn't he letting the fact that he's a successful man be enough to impress me on its own it's kind of like

18:52

Speaker A

if you have to try and impress someone and if right now you're a guy who's maybe not super successful or hasn't accomplished much it doesn't mean you don't talk to women at all it just should be extra motivation to go and get

19:02

Speaker A

your together because it will make your life with women a lot easier and will make you less reliant on gimmicks or tricks or tactics so that being said let me know if this was helpful if you want help with your texting with your

19:12

Speaker A

profiles with your photos and generally just getting more dates with girlfriend quality women so that you can actually settle down and find a partner or explore your options tap the link below and get in touch we can definitely help

19:22

Speaker A

you out with it as long as you are the right type of guy so tap the link and I'll see you guys in the next video

Topics: Instagram dating DM a girl dating tips online dating dating advice Benjamin Seda Instagram DMs dating success relationship building dating management

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